If you asked a slew of reality TV stars whether or not they think of themselves as self-aware, they’d surely swear they were — after all, constant analysis and assessment of what’s happening to them is their raison d’etre. But regularly watching the choices they make — and statements they utter — can prove just how self-aware they’re not.
Take Rob on “The Amazing Race.” When calm — i.e., when he and Kimberly are winning, well-rested or simply not doing anything that might under any circumstances be considered stressful — he seems like an OK guy. His use of the word “dude” diminishes, he stops the ticking time bomb routine and he even throws his girlfriend a couple of compliments.
The rest of the time? Let’s just say that a mature man he is not.
Nevertheless, this week we got to hear him talk about how much the race is helping him to grow. While the editors didn’t take full advantage of that ironic revelation, within minutes we got to see him lying, taunting and talking trash, and, sure enough, before the episode was up, we were privy to one of his classic meltdowns. If that’s growth — well, then I’m writing this as I travel from Kiev to Casablanca.
And then there’s Lorenzo, who ostensibly went on “The Bachelor” to find love and, in this final episode, had to decide between adorable little Sadie and giggly Jen.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with Jen, assuming you don’t mind a girl who appears to have the IQ of your average llama and sounds like a bad actress reading cue cards when discussing her feelings.
Of course Lorenzo picked her, either because he’s the least aware human alive or because his palm-reading mom told him his hand demanded it.
Danny Bonaduce, meanwhile, despite the many hours of documented therapy and recent sessions with the local pastor, continued to act like your average 6-year-old this week.
He continued to pout over the fact that he’s been ostracized to the guest room, composed a song where he calls his wife a whore and pushed the cool babysitter routine a little far by teaching the kids to play with toy guns and taking them on a night walk where they swore at a woman pushing a stroller.
Luckily, he’s perfectly matched in obliviousness with Gretchen, who praised his decision-making ability and invited him back into the bedroom, despite the fact that she seems more attracted to Dr. Gary than to him, and could only say that he was funny when asked to list hubby’s attributes (honey, we’ve all used that one when we couldn’t think of anything else to say).
Then again, her answer could have been worse. She might have raved about his self-awareness.
Anna David has been on staff at Premiere and Parenting magazines and wrote a sex and relationship column for Razor. She’s done celebrity cover stories, first-person essays and reported pieces for The L.A. Times, Vanity Fair, Cosmo, People, Us Weekly, Redbook, Self, Details, Stuff, TV Guide, Women’s Health, Ocean Drive, Vegas, The Saturday Telegraph, Esquire UK, Teen Vogue, Variety, The New York Post, LA Confidential, Distinction, Calabasas, Tatler (Hong Kong), King, Fade In, Emmy and Maxim, among others.