So every year in Manhattan's Rockefeller Center, a massive Christmas tree is lit — a huge event that draws thousands of spectators, a few annoying celebrities and the requisite tranny hooker.
But this time, this 72 foot tall, eight-ton weed will be lit with 30,000 energy-efficient LED lights. That makes the tree truly "green," as opposed to, you know, just green.
Now, this is the equivalent of Kirstie Alley ordering four Big Macs and then washing it down with diet Coke.
I mean, imagine the fuel required to bring a tree the size of a whale from New Jersey, where it grew up. It also needs a custom made telescoping trailer, as well as a huge crew. The damn thing also has a 750-pound star — almost twice the size of Joy Behar.
See, this just shows how the green movement is a stupid joke: An ideology for idiots, where symbolism trumps substance and feeling good is all that matters, even if that feeling has no basis in reality.
I mean, if you really believe in going green, then cancel the tree lighting altogether and replace it with a pagan prayer recited by a naked Ed Begley, Jr.
And that's the point of going green: Anything that's fun must be bad for the planet. And this is why all environmentalists are so boring. Being green is just an excuse for self-absorbed saps to prove their superiority without doing anything superior.
And look, I'm actually pretty green. Well, at least my toe fungus is — but you don't see me bragging about it.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler!