Obama Is the Greatest Human Being of All Time

The backlash against Barack is starting, engineered mainly by envious critics accusing him of arrogance, as he flies around the world spreading hope across this troubled orb.

Some suggest the candidate acts as though he has already won the election, pointing to fawning world leaders and meetings with our own high-level officials. Some think Obama should practice a little humility.

I find this "Baracklash" disgusting. Any educated and decent person can see that Obama is the greatest human being we have ever seen since the beginning of time.

Actually, I'll go beyond that: He's the greatest human being ever, including the era existing before the creation of time. For it has become abundantly clear that the idea of Obama has always existed above and beyond some dumb measuring system.

Besides, time can only gauge mortal substance and we know that Obama can only be measured by our dreams. I mean, what is time anyway, but merely grains of sand in an hour glass? Obama, he's the whole beach. Yes, a whole beach of hourglasses endlessly sifting like an orchestra of hope using the very earth as its magical instrument.

Calling Obama a mere human being is like calling the sun a star, when you know the sun is so much more than that. The sun is a star, but that star becomes the sun when we realize it is the center of our universe, a hot glorious rock that sustains all life. But am I talking really about the sun or am I talking about our son, Obama?

Once perceived as mortal, when compared to fellow humans his stature rises like the sun. And like the sun, Obama offers us hope, life and plenty of healthy Vitamin D.

However, like the sun, too much Obama can be unhealthy. Try to avoid afternoon summer Obama between the hours of 11 and 3 p.m.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com