Needling the Canadians

Did you hear I made the Canadians mad at me again?

In honor of Canada Day, July 1, I was asked by Maclean's magazine, one of Canada's brightest lights, to write a few words on the state of Canada's relations with the U.S. It came out on Friday.

I said the relations stunk because we had figured out how anti-American Canadians had become over the last few years. The quote from me they put on the cover of the magazine was, "Canada is a vast ice-encrusted wasteland dedicated to beer and America bashing."

As you probably could figure out, that didn't go over big with a bunch of Canadians and the proof was in the letters to the editor.

Jan Piller of New Hamburg, Ontario, thinks we're bullies. She says, "We need to be a little more vocal about our big bully neighbors to the south. We teach our children to speak up about bullying. We should do the same."

Jo-Anne in Calgary, Alberta, wrote, "When I read John Gibson's article, it made me remember why I'm proud to be Canadian and not afraid to say I'm anti-American."

P. Warren in Duncan, British Columbia, on watching his neighbor, America: "It's like watching a friend tackle addiction. You can try to help them, but until they hit rock bottom, there isn't much you can do." Ouch.

Now to be fair and balanced, as always, I must acknowledge that some Canadians know their countrymen have a bad case of anti-Americanism. But sometimes when Canadians stick up for us with other Canadians, you feel, well, reduced, cut down.

Like when John Mathewson, a Canadian living in Westport, Connecticut, wrote, "My experience here, as in other countries, has been that the American people are every bit as complex, interesting and original as Canadians."

Well, that's nice. Anyway, I had some fun needling our friends, the Canadians. Boy, are they thin-skinned. They say the most awful things about us, as if it were obviously true to everyone, like the government official calling George Bush a moron. And you say you don't envy Canadians for their fabulous country and you don't really wish you were Canadian so you could be like them: wonderful, thoughtful, peaceful, generous? Just say that once. Just think it, and they bite your head off.

Happy Fourth, eh?

That's My Word.

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