Miller Time: The Allure of Anna Nicole

This is a partial transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," February 14, 2007, that has been edited for clarity.

BILL O'REILLY, HOST: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.

In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, reports out today say the late Anna Nicole Smith was taking heavy duty narcotics like Demerol and Methadone late into her pregnancy. Just another tawdry detail in a story chock full of them.

Joining us now from L.A. with his weekly observations, Dennis Miller.

Now, I — before we get to Smith, you heard our story on the Bank of America giving credit cards to anybody now. And what say you?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, I didn't even know you were going to do that story, Bill. But I did want to tell you I went down to Bank of America today, and this is the receipt. I closed my account out, because you know this B of A thing is B of S. And if they want to be the B of M, fine but I'm not in until they're the B of A again.

O'REILLY: What do you object to about what they're doing?

MILLER: There's got to be some vigorous (ph) for doing things legally. And I am just — you know, everybody's got to draw the line somewhere. I draw the line at the ATM line. If Bush wants to drop the payload on this, fine. But I did something I felt — I felt like an American today.

O'REILLY: I said the same thing, you know. And it wasn't the program that — you know, I don't bank with them anyway. But it was that they wouldn't come on and explain. They're hiding under the desks and it's not acceptable.

MILLER: I would tell everybody out there real quickly, Bill, it took three minutes. Go down, do it, take your money out, voice your displeasure. Go over to Wells Fargo. I got some nice checks there, and I got them with Sam Houston's face on it.

O'REILLY: All right. I’m not saying — that's Miller saying that, not me. But I respect your decision.

Now, Anna Nicole Smith. You can't get away from it.


O'REILLY: I mean it's all over the place. And what do you think?

MILLER: Well, I don't think we should get away from it. I think it's a great story. I think it's the entire human condition in a Wonder Bra.

Let's face facts. We love to ogle the freak show because all of us have a little freak inside of us. We tend to mute it down for societal purposes. And we want to know that we did the right thing. So occasionally we'll look over at somebody who hasn't muted down their limbic, you know, sort of gas flame. And when they go crash and burn on the shoals, it reaffirms the stance we take.

I think that right after thirst, schadenfreude is the next prevalent human feeling.

O'REILLY: Limbic. Schadenfreude. Do we have to get a dictionary to listen to you? What does limbic mean?

MILLER: I just think that we've all got a freak inside. She chose to be a freak. We choose not to be a freak. And we want to occasionally see that...

O'REILLY: What we could have been if we had made that choice. But it's little more serious than that and here's why.

This woman reports today and are backed up by documentation, was taking Demerol and Methadone when her baby was eight months inside her with one month to be born. And now we have a situation where we've got a lot of tawdry stuff surrounding a five-month-old child.

And I agree with you, it is a freak show and people are watching it because of that. But I think there's a lot of — look, I think Britney Spears should be tied in a chair and forced to watch this coverage 24/7.

MILLER: Well, listen, then we've got an Anthony Burgess novel and we've got Malcolm McDowell's eyeballs propped open there. The only person who can do that is Britney Spears’ mother.

And I can't understand these parents that don't get right in their kids' face and say, "Listen I'm on you like your shadow until you pull this together."

Fame is a quirky business, Bill. They love to build you up. They love to see you fall. It's one of the few businesses in the world where you can get a great table at your own last meal. And the parents have got to step in and take care of people.

O'REILLY: Yes, because you weren't surprised when you heard the ticker come across that Anna Nicole Smith had died, were you?

MILLER: No, I was surprised to find out that the father of the baby was Joran Van Der Sloot from the Aruba case. But other than that, no nothing shocking.

O'REILLY: I didn't hear that. Ws that on "Larry King" last night?

MILLER: Just came across the wire here, Bill.

O'REILLY: All right. Now let's get on to a serious — well, that's serious. But this is really serious. You are going to support Rudy Giuliani for president? Don't you want to hear what the other guys have to say?

MILLER: No, I think the presidential race now is like the NCAA football thing, where if you want to have a loss, it's best to have it early in the season so you can come back and play for the championship with one loss. That's why they're starting it so early.

I need all I need to know about Rudy. And that is he's not neurotic about killing our enemies. I think the terrorists hate this guy. I think that should be his bumper sticker. Who do the guys in the caves not want you to vote for? And that's Rudy Giuliani.

O'REILLY: Yes, but McCain is a pretty tough cookie, too, on this front.

MILLER: Yes, listen, I like John McCain. I think it's a young man's game. I'll be honest with you. I think John McCain's going to be 73, and that job, it's like dog years. It ages you.

Listen, he is an American hero. He's a nice man whenever I've met him. I idolize him in many ways. I just think that he missed it by around four to eight years.

O'REILLY: How about Mitt Romney? He declared. We're going to have him on the program tomorrow. He's another guy that's putting himself up as a terror fighter.

MILLER: Yes. I think Mitt's — he's a little too slick by a half. Ironically, Bill, the guy named Mitt needs to be broken in, you know? I mean, he needs to get a little looser. That glint coming off his teeth, I just don't trust that any more. I think it will make it too easy...

O'REILLY: What if he grew a beard like you? Would that...

MILLER: That's — that's what I'm looking for.

O'REILLY: Or you know, let his freaky side come out a little bit. Would he get you on board then?


O'REILLY: I'll tell him tomorrow. Although, you know, usually Mormons don't let their — you know, they're kind of restrained. Now I'm going to get mail from Mormons. But anyway —

MILLER: Bill, I want to ask you something real quick.

O'REILLY: Sure, sure.

MILLER: Because you can help me here as far as Rudy goes. I like the fact that he was a U.S. attorney. I think dealing with the mafia he knows the way around punks. You know, he knows how to deal with bullies.

But tell me this. I always liked the way Rudy stepped up to the memorial services for the 9/11 people. Didn't he attend like hundreds and hundreds of them? And didn't, in fact, "The Factor" do some research back then that Hillary Clinton did not attend one?

O'REILLY: That is correct.

MILLER: Well, listen, if they get in a debate, you don't even have to have them talk. Just put that up, number of the memorial services attended. If that doesn't tell you everything about these two people, about talking about commitment versus real commitment, I don't know what does.

O'REILLY: All right. Miller, I'm going give you the last word, and I hope I don't regret it.

MILLER: Bill, the last word today is persnickety.

O'REILLY: Persnickety. I know what that means. Lapen (ph), was that it? I didn't know what that means. I'll look it up. Persnickety means persnickety.

MILLER: Exactly.

O'REILLY: Dennis Miller, everybody. It's "Miller Time" every Wednesday.

MILLER: Officer O'Reilly.

O'REILLY: There you go.

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