Men Are Scum; Women Are Stupid

So Jesse James, the hulky hubby of Sandra Bullock, got busted cheating on the delightful actress.

Here is a picture of Sandra Bullock.

Here is a picture of the woman James cheated with, Bombshell Magee.

One more time: Sandra Bullock and Bombshell Magee.

Who would have thought if Jesse were to cheat, it would be with Marilyn Manson?

Who's next? Cris Angel? Take a look at Cris.

Yep, my money is on that freak.

Anyway, this reveals one essential truth about life: Men are scum; women are stupid.

First, let's take the "men are scum" part. Sadly most men on this planet would jam their idiot-stick into anything, as long as it doesn't electrocute them. Although, I'm not even sure that's true: If you put an Oreck upright vacuum in some fishnets, Bill Maher would bang it.

Fact is, it doesn't matter who you're married to, men desire sexual novelty more than oxygen and it's up to them to rein it in. Some can't. Case in point: This dirtbag James cheats not just on a lovely, rich woman, but America's sweetheart. That's what separates dirtbags from non-dirtbags: Non-dirtbags make the effort.

Onto the "women are stupid" part: As much as I sympathize with Sandra — who I've had a crush on since "Love Potion No. 9" — there were signs. Her husband married a porn star. As an expert in red flags would say, "Holy crap. That's a red flag."

What does this mean? Well, there are millions of good men out there, but she chose this creep. Why? Because the way men enjoy sexual risk-taking, women find emotional adventures a thrill. Good women choose bad men all the time and all the good men are left wondering, "What's wrong with me?"

I just hope Sandra dumps this jerk and marries someone who deserves her. Like Rupert Everett — he seems like a nice chap.

And if you disagree with me, I'll kill you... with kisses.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com