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So an Indian man married a dog in a Hindu ceremony — to help erase a curse. After stoning two dogs to death, Mr. Selvakumar experienced paralysis in his legs and became partially deaf. An astrologer told him the only way to end the punishment would be to marry the bitch.

The former stray dog is named Selvi — but is now known as Mrs. Selvakumar. There was a reception with a buffet, but the dog was allowed nothing more than a bun.

But what does this say about a guy who claims he wants to atone for his sins, but then treats his bride so badly? At the very least, I hope he did the right thing and waited until after the wedding to consummate the bond.

And, I have to ask: Where was the registry: the Pottery Barn or Petsmart?

Let's just hope the dog can cook or at least perform in the bedroom. On special occasions they can do it "human style."

But to me, this story underlines an unspeakable truth about the world: People in other countries are weird and it scares me that they have the bomb.

And that's my gut feeling!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com