Making GLAAD's Naughty List

So the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) just named the worst anti-gay and anti-transgender voices of 2008. And, lo and be fabulous, I'm one of them.

I'm there because GLAAD objected to me using the phrase "transvestite hookers." They also said that we "misrepresented serious medical concerns," when we referred to a sex change as "turning a hole into a pole."

So, to summarize their complaints: "waaah waaah."

But I am touched by this award, even if it's undeserved. The real travesty here is that despite being asked regularly to come on "Red Eye" to hash it out (as recently as yesterday), GLAAD is too scared to do anything that might undermine their wrong-headed assumptions.

So, instead of talking to real people, they take the weenie's way out: by issuing press releases through a blog. Yeah — courage, baby.

But hey, GLAAD knows it can't talk to me, because they need me! "Red Eye" has been more favorable toward gay marriage than anyone, but admitting that would undermine GLAAD's victim status — which helps with donations.

But anyway, GLAADies, the offer still stands. Drop the cowardly hiss and come on "Red Eye." (The studio is located conveniently in my apartment, behind a retractable wall.)

Afterwards, I'll treat you to the tranny hooker of your choice. Sorry, I mean, "trans-gendered sex worker." (I'm sure that P.C. phrase makes their lives easier. Well done on that front, GLAAD. At least I pay in cash instead of words.)

And if you disagree with it, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com