Love's Labour's Lost

The strangest story this week? A Florida woman made an odd discovery when she found her boyfriend stuck in her house's cat door.

The girlfriend of Charles Tucker had kicked him out of her home after a fight, but he tried to come back in through the cat door — where he got stuck and died.

Here's more proof, I guess, that size matters.

Police are awaiting autopsy results, but I can already tell you what killed him: true love.

Men often do grand and incredibly stupid things to win someone back. Why, I remember as a young man, trying to impress a lass by building a giant heart on a hillside, so she could see it from her house. I probably should have picked a better choice of material, but all the children were returned safely to their homes. Most of them, anyway.

And that brings me to this final point: Before you ever make a big overture in the name of love, ask yourself, "If I were to die in the middle of this, how would the picture look?"

I'm pretty sure this man never intended to be found half in and half out of his lover's cat door. He should have just moved on. Better to have loved and lost than to die wishing you were a pussy... cat.

And that's my gut feeling!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com