Having trouble with the lady in your life? Blame it on her brain.
Experts are finding with increasing frequency that men and women are … wait for it … different — right down to their individual brain cells, The New York Post reports.
"People assume that men and women are interchangeable, and that's just not so," Dr. Marianne Legato, founder of the Partnership for Gender-Specific Medicine at Columbia University and author of the 2005 book "Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget" told The Post.
What is it exactly that makes the lads and ladies so distinctly divided?
Legato's research indicates that variations in individual brain cells may prove some time-honored stereotypes to be closer to the truth than you might want to believe. For example:
Women remember things better — even things the guys have long forgotten.
Men are more adept at reading maps.
Men prefer to do things on their own, while women are more likely to enjoy talking and doing things in groups.
And the groan factor doesn't stop there — Legato says women's brains are, in fact, about 10 percent smaller than those of their more manly counterparts, even after their more diminutive statures are taken into account.
But before that news prompts the guys start dancing in the end zones, know this: Legato says that even though the ladies' brains might be smaller, they have more activity between neurons, meaning they "get more brain bang for the buck."
And it seems the differences in the male and female brains may affect everything from the mating game to how a couple fights to whether one's partner is likely to have a wandering eye.
Legato says guys are attracted to a woman with full lips, bright eyes and big hips — all signs of fertility, whereas women dig the dudes with strong jaws, deep voices and a good sense of humor.
"Humor bespeaks intelligence, and health, as in a lack of depression," says Legato.
Looks Like He'll Be Back Alright ... Back to the Old Drawing Board
WHITTIER, Calif. (AP) — People are going nuts for the new Tickle Me Elmo, but no one's showing much interest in the talking doll that one Whittier entrepreneur can't seem to unload.
Derrell Brown says he paid a toy maker in Taiwan about $6,000 to create 1,400 talking Arnold Schwarzenegger dolls that mock his trademark line from the Terminator.
When you touch the Arnold doll's arm, it says, "I won't be back."
Brown says he ordered the dolls a year ago, when things were looking down for Governor Schwarzenegger's re-election campaign.
But with polls showing that the governor likely will be back, he's not finding much of a market for the dolls.
He says even charity groups won't take the dolls off his hands to give to needy kids on Christmas.
See You in Hell, Sweetie!
HELL, Mich. (AP) — Catherine Greene was admittedly a little nervous when she said "I do" to fiance Nicholas Doubleday during a Halloween-themed wedding ceremony in this unusually named hamlet.
"It was her idea," Doubleday said. "When I asked her to marry me, she said she wanted the wedding in Hell."
The couple live near San Diego and are planning to relocate to Michigan. They haven't ruled out moving to Hell, which has about 250 people and is 45 miles west of Detroit.
The bride, a registered nurse, was dressed in black and wore vampire teeth during Tuesday's nuptials. She walked down the lantern-lit, pumpkin-lined aisle in cadence with a funeral dirge instead of the "Wedding March."
The groom, who hopes to become a history teacher, was a knight clad in 80 pounds of armor.
"I will have these wonderful memories forever," Greene told The Ann Arbor News.
It was the second such ceremony at John Colone's Hell Village Chapel, a tiny building that stands behind his Screams Ice Cream & Halloween Store.
"This is great," Colone said. "I love the joy and the laughter we can bring into people's lives."
The maid of honor, Terri Dunham of Oceanside, Calif., was dressed as an angel in white. Greene's bridesmaids were dressed as medieval princesses.
"Having the wedding here totally makes sense," Dunham said. "I've known Cathy since we were in sixth grade and she's always been extreme and offbeat.
"Everyone wants a special and unique wedding. This will be a great story to tell to their grandchildren."
Greene and Doubleday met in 2003 in Alaska, where she was going to college and he was in the Air Force. Their ghoulish wedding day was their third trip to Hell together.
Here's a Creative Way to Get Busted by the Fashion Police:
SOUTH PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — The lawyer who divulged President Bush's drunken-driving arrest days before the 2000 election was arrested at gunpoint Tuesday after he was seen on a highway construction site carrying a toy gun while dressed in an Usama bin Laden costume.
Tom Connolly, 49, of Scarborough, was charged with criminal threatening after he stood at the site visible to commuters on Interstate 295 while wearing the Halloween costume and waving a sign.
Police officers responding to motorists' calls found a man wearing a white robe and carrying a fake assault rifle.
Before he was arrested, Connolly walked toward officers as what appeared to be plastic grenades tumbled onto the ground, an officer said. The costume included plastic dynamite, grenades and a replica of an AK-47 assault rifle.
"The whole thing is just incredibly bizarre," said South Portland Police Chief Ed Googins. "It just crossed the line."
Connolly, who was the Democratic nominee for governor in 1998, met with reporters briefly after posting $500 cash bail to secure his release from the Cumberland County Jail in Portland. He said his case is scheduled to come up in District Court in December and he intends to plead not guilty.
"There was a First Amendment this morning when I woke up. I don't know how it evaporated with the dawn," said Connolly, who drew national attention when he was identified as the Democrat who tipped the media to Bush's 1976 drunken-driving arrest in Kennebunkport.
Connolly, a Portland attorney, has been known for wearing costumes to make political statements, typically donning a George W. Bush mask and dancing herky-jerky style for passing motorists. His wife, who arrived at the jail with their 3 1/2-year-old son to pick up her husband, has described him as "marvelously eccentric."
But he took it too far with the terrorist outfit, Googins said.
Police want to make sure charges are pressed. "For someone to think this is an innocent prank, this is not the case," he said.
Thanks to Out There reader Jason G.
And Now This From the 'Bad-Choice-of-Costume' Department:
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. (AP) — A jail went into lockdown and recounted its prisoners on Halloween night after a former inmate was spotted trick-or-treating in his old orange prisoner's jumpsuit.
"Bad choice of costume," said Susan Tolchin, chief adviser to Westchester County Executive Andrew Spano.
The former inmate, Oscar Aponte, was taking his daughter trick-or-treating in Peekskill on Tuesday night when a county correction officer — also out trick-or-treating with her child — spotted the familiar jumpsuit, Tolchin said.
"She confronted him, and he ran and drove off," Tolchin said. The officer took down the man's license plate and called authorities.
The jail went into lockdown until a prisoner count established that no one was missing. Meanwhile, police found Aponte, confiscated the genuine jumpsuit and let him go.
Aponte was arrested and charged Wednesday with petty larceny and possession of stolen property, both misdemeanors, Tolchin said. She said prisoners are not permitted to take their jumpsuits home when they are released.
Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.
Got a good "Out There" story in your hometown? We would like to know about it. Send an e-mail with a Web link (we need to authenticate these things) to firstname.lastname@example.org.