So last night while I was preparing my world famous ambrosia salad (the secret ingredient is love), I turned on the TV to find Jim Carrey talking to a corpse — also known as Larry King.
When King asked Carrey if he believed in fate, Carrey claimed "that everything happens to you is the greatest thing that could ever happen to you."
Carrey then added, "Mugged in an alleyway, hit with a brick in the face; everything is the greatest thing that could ever happen to you."
Now, I doubt Carrey actually knows what he means, but I still have to take him at his word. But, if he wants to see how depraved his new age beliefs are, he should simply apply this philosophy to the people he loves. I mean, maybe Jenny McCarthy getting hit with a brick in the face could be the greatest thing that ever happens to her. It might even fix that goofy grin. I mean, violence is just a magical part of life. It can't be any worse than Carrey's performance in "Batman Forever."
Now, I guess I could point out how Carrey is parroting the worst kind of moral relativism: Where good things and bad things are exactly the same — and getting a scholarship is no different than getting mugged.
But then again, maybe I'm giving him too much credit. The fact is Carrey illustrates a persistent problem among folks you see on magazine covers: stupidity.
It's probably nothing a brick in the face couldn't fix.
And if you disagree, you sir are worse than Hitler.