This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," February 4, 2010. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: Now for the top story tonight, we wrap up our talk with our pal Jon Stewart.
O'REILLY: Let's play a little bit of a scenario. I'm thinking about running for president.
Click here to watch Jon Stewart in the No Spin Zone!
JON STEWART, HOST, "THE DAILY SHOW": I think that is a really bad idea.
O'REILLY: I want you to be my vice president.
STEWART: I think that's a really bad idea, too.
STEWART: I got pictures of me from college that I have in a shoe box that preclude me from working at the post office.
O'REILLY: It doesn't matter. Stewart…
STEWART: So I would not…
O'REILLY: At this point…
STEWART: You have no idea the trouble you'd be getting into.
O'REILLY: No, this is why I have selected you as my vice president.
STEWART: All right.
O'REILLY: OK? Your image is so bad, no matter what they found, it wouldn't matter, OK. Now, I have to vet you. I'm vetting you on the air.
STEWART: All right.
O'REILLY: Global warming?
STEWART: What about it?
O'REILLY: All right. You're big on that. You're frightened of it. You want to flee, don't you?
STEWART: Flee what? The earth?
O'REILLY: The planet, yeah.
STEWART: No, I'm OK. I'm OK right now.
O'REILLY: You're OK?
O'REILLY: I got to have your POV on this.
STEWART: I guess, look, I'm not a scientist. I can only assume common sense. If you burn a lot of stuff and put it in the atmosphere, it means something.
STEWART: What it means, I don't know.
O'REILLY: But you believe in global warming, manmade?
STEWART: I have no reason not to.
O'REILLY: What do you want to do about global warming? What do you want to do?
STEWART: What do I want to do about it?
O'REILLY: Yeah, no more barbecues? What do you want? What do you want?
STEWART: I really enjoy barbecue. What I would like to do about global warming is I think rebuild our energy infrastructure. You know, that super grid sounds like a pretty good idea.
O'REILLY: You want green energy? Wind?
STEWART: If it makes sense. I mean, I don't know why we wouldn't.
O'REILLY: All right, let's go to Iran. If you're my VP, I'm going to have to put you in charge of very delicate negotiations. Now Iran's building, you know, nuclear weapons over there. And if they get them, they might give them to some guy named Ahmed, who might take then to them Cleveland and blow everything up. So what are we going to do with that?
STEWART: Well, doesn't Pakistan have a nuclear weapon?
O'REILLY: Yes, they do.
STEWART: Well, couldn't they give it to somebody?
O'REILLY: I don't know. I don't think…
STEWART: Doesn't Russia have nuclear weapons?
O'REILLY: Russia does.
STEWART: Couldn't they give it to somebody?
O'REILLY: They could.
STEWART: The problem isn't the country that gets them. The problem seems to be the weapon. I think the strategy of what we've done and, again, thank you guys for ratcheting up the fear on this.
O'REILLY: You're not afraid that if Iran gets a nuclear weapon and they cause all kinds of havoc…
STEWART: There's a lot of things to be afraid of in the world. I asked a guy…
O'REILLY: You're a Jewish guy, right?
O'REILLY: You're a Jewish guy?
STEWART: Who told him?
O'REILLY: All right?
STEWART: Son of a (EXPLETIVE DELETED). Did you tell him?
O'REILLY: So I believe that the president of Iran…
STEWART: What gave it away? Was it my happy Hanukkah when I walked in?
O'REILLY: I think they…
STEWART: There is a war on Hanukkah in this country, mister!
O'REILLY: I believe the — Ahmadinejad, you know, he wants to drive you and all the other Jewish people into the sea.
STEWART: So what — so I cannot control that. I cannot control what those things are.
O'REILLY: So what we can control is we can stop them from having a nuclear weapon.
STEWART: No. Here's the thing. You might be able to stop them from having a nuclear weapon.
STEWART: But as technology grows and becomes more accessible to people, this is going to become an increasingly difficult problem. And here's what we can't do. Here's what we can't do.
O'REILLY: All right, what can't we do?
STEWART: Our strategy for battling terrorism can't be that you overthrow governments and then make the United States military commit 150,000 troops to those lands until they can somehow stabilize the governments…
O'REILLY: I agree with that.
STEWART: …long enough so that you can prevent 10 people from plotting destruction in a basement. Terrorism…
O'REILLY: It's bankrupting the country.
STEWART: It's bankrupting the country. It's…
O'REILLY: But you don't seem too concerned about Iran. You just don't seem to be that concerned about it?
STEWART: Because Iran, like most of these other countries, has a self-preservationist streak. And I am a firm believer that that self-preservationist streak keeps them — they're not — they understand, look, there is no theory of mutual destruction with Iran. Let's say they get one off. It would be tragic.
O'REILLY: Well, how would we trace it?
O'REILLY: We'd never trace it.
STEWART: That's absolutely wrong.
O'REILLY: They can't even question the underwear bomber, all right?
STEWART: If somebody…
O'REILLY: They can't get a guy with underwear, and they can't get the answers.
STEWART: (INAUDIBLE). Let's look at the geniuses we're up against.
O'REILLY: All right, I got…
STEWART: Richard Reid was the airplane bomber.
STEWART: He tried to take that explosive and put it in his shoes.
STEWART: It took them eight years, and the plan they came up with in eight years is why don't we try sticking it under that guy's genitals? That's what they did in eight years. They moved from the guy's shoes up to his underwear.
O'REILLY: Right, and he got…
STEWART: That's who we're up against.
O'REILLY: …to Detroit, all right? So that's the frightening part about it. Now, trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammed…
O'REILLY: ...in your living room, because you live downtown.
STEWART: That's right.
O'REILLY: And he's going to be in your living room.
STEWART: That's right.
O'REILLY: Are you down with that? You want that civilian trial?
STEWART: I'd like him tried honestly…
STEWART: …in the pit. I'd like him right in there, and I'd like him to be executed at halftime of the Super Bowl.
O'REILLY: But really?
STEWART: And then reanimated, so we could do it every year.
O'REILLY: $600 million, $700 million going to cost the city?
O'REILLY: We don't have any money here anyway.
STEWART: I'm glad to see that you're suddenly very concerned about cost and…
O'REILLY: I am. I'm a fiscal conservative when it comes to that.
STEWART: No, and I think maybe when the Iraq war was coming up, you might have mentioned that. It would have been a big help.
O'REILLY: I said many times on this program that was not a good thing to do, all right?
STEWART: Huh? You said you would apologize if they didn't find weapons of mass destruction.
O'REILLY: And I did. I said I was wrong many times. That whole Iraq thing…
STEWART: All right.
O'REILLY: ...did not go well. Let's go back to…
O'REILLY: Yeah. Where — he should be tried in front of a military tribunal.
STEWART: Now, I'm not against military tribunals.
O'REILLY: You're waffling now. You're in the middle. I need a strong VP.
STEWART: I'm not running with you.
O'REILLY: Oh, you're not?
O'REILLY: You've turned it down already?
STEWART: I'm not running with you.
O'REILLY: Oh, come on.
STEWART: I'm not going to be your VP, because I know what that's going to be. I get one job, and that's to light the White House menorah. Not interested.
O'REILLY: OK, but look.
STEWART: There are valid concerns…
STEWART: ...about trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in a civilian court.
STEWART: But one of the valid concerns isn't that it makes us a terrorist target and that it emboldens the enemy.
O'REILLY: How do you know?
STEWART: Because we're already a terrorist target.
O'REILLY: OK. That's like saying you got to close Guantanamo, because it's a terrorist recruiting tool. They're already recruiting terrorists.
STEWART: No, I think you're absolutely right.
O'REILLY: That's (INAUDIBLE).
STEWART: I don't think that's why we should close Guantanamo.
O'REILLY: Why should we close it?
STEWART: Because it's limbo.
STEWART: It doesn't fit with the American system of justice.
O'REILLY: It's better to be there than in some penitentiary here.
STEWART: No, it's not.
O'REILLY: I've been there. It is, trust me.
STEWART: No, no, no, I'm saying it's better to have them go through a system where you can go through and methodically show the world that the American judicial system has the integrity to withstand even the most violent creatures.
O'REILLY: Does that include the Crips and the Bloods out in the yard confronting these guys? That's the American justice system inside prison. You know it, Stewart.
O'REILLY: OK. Finally, Sarah Palin, you've been a little tough on Sarah Palin, haven't you? I mean…
STEWART: No, I don't think so.
O'REILLY: No? You haven't been mocking her?
STEWART: Oh no, I mock her.
STEWART: Yeah, but I don't think I've been too tough on her.
O'REILLY: No? What other women in politics have you mocked to the extent that you've mocked Sarah Palin?
STEWART: Probably Hillary Clinton.
O'REILLY: Have you mocked Hillary that much?
O'REILLY: Yeah? More than Sarah, the same?
STEWART: Well, Hillary's been around longer, but give Sarah time. I'll get there.
STEWART: Yeah, I'll catch up.
O'REILLY: You like her?
STEWART: I don't know her.
STEWART: I'm not crazy about the whole real America vibe I get from her. That gets under my skin.
O'REILLY: You don't think she's a real American?
STEWART: No, she — I don't like the whole like there's a real America and then there's the coastal America.
O'REILLY: You don't think there's a difference between San Francisco and Wasilla, Alaska?
STEWART: In terms of?
O'REILLY: In terms of mentality and how you look at life?
STEWART: I think there are individuals with — let me put it this way. I don't say that where you live is the factor in deciding who you are.
O'REILLY: Jon Stewart, everybody. There he is.
O'REILLY: All right, we hope you enjoyed it. And two footnotes, we have a brand new BillOReilly.com poll question for you. Please give the Stewart interview a grade from A to F. Please give the Stewart interview a grade.
Also, as mentioned, the entire unedited interview with Mr. Stewart now posted on FoxNews.com.
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