Illegal Alien Enters the White House

And now the most intriguing two minutes in television, the latest from the political grapevine:

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Illegal Alien, Illegal Access
An illegal alien apparently got access to the White House, the Pentagon and NASA -- and has the pictures to prove it. Salvador Martinez-Gonzalez is currently in custody in Laredo, Texas. He was indicted Dec. 17 on charges that he entered the United States illegally and used a fraudulent passport. The New York Post reports that prior to his arrest, Gonzales spent two years helping erect party tents on the White House lawn. Here you see Martinez-Gonzalez posing with former President Clinton. And here he is with the Vice President and Mrs. Cheney. The INS told him to leave the country in the year 2000, but he avoided deportation and used fake documents to stay here.  
Pigskin Politician?
Political adepts watching last night's Orange Bowl may have recognized one sideline official: Florida Sen. Bob Graham. The former Florida governor, who is considering a bid for the Democratic nomination for president, carried the down and distance markers and helped measure first downs. Graham has spent one day a month for the past 27 years working different jobs, including firefighter, counterterrorism agent, chicken plucker and garbage hauler. The 66-year-old senator said, "Sports, and definitely football, is a big part of Florida. You have to be totally impartial and be fair to everyone as a referee. In politics, you can be partial." It didn't hurt that the two teams in the Orange Bowl were from California and Iowa.

List of Banished Words
And finally, Lake Superior State University has issued its annual, "List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness. LSSU has been compiling the list since 1976, choosing from nominations sent from around the world. Among them: “Material Breach," which nominators say suggests an obstetrical complication that pulls a physician off the golf course. Or how about,"Weapons of Mass Destuction?" LSSU logo-cops note that many weapons, used effectively, do a lot of destruction. Or maybe, "Undisclosed, Secret Location," a redundant wordpile often used to describe Vice President Cheney's whereabouts. If it's a secret, it's undisclosed, and if it's undisclosed, it's a secret.