So once there was a man who'd been arrested for violently beating another man — no surprise, since earlier he'd been busted for beating his own wife.
Then, another man was nailed for drugs — the least of his problems, since he'd previously shot his fiancee in the arm.
And then there was this other creep, nailed for assault and battery while dealing in crystal meth.
A sad bunch, really.
Now, if you're Janet Napolitano, you're probably assuming I'm referring to a sampling of our nation's vets returning from Iraq or Afghanistan. After all, it was her report that said we've got some damaged souls here, ready to snap.
But actually I'm not. Like Janet, I was only depicting a group of people — actors, actually — from recent anti-war films.
The fact is, it's not the vets we have to worry about, it's the jackasses who play them.
But that's the joke: For the last 30 years, Hollywood has perpetuated the myth of the "troubled vet," egged on by the cacklers on the coasts, nearly all of whom have never met a war vet in their life. To them, every uniform is worn by Timothy McVeigh.
The real truth is that, nearly all military dudes are delightfully decent and even mundane — far saner than you and me and without a doubt much more fun than Napolitano, a person who, as Governor Rendell once pointed out, doesn't get out much. She probably just rents "The Road to Guantanamo" repeatedly, while thinking of new ways to describe terror that won't hurt anyone's feelings.
And that's what gets me: Right now the administration seems to care more about the feelings of those who want to kill us, than those who want to protect us. I mean, if Janet were around in the 1940s, we'd probably all be speaking Austrian.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.