Sometimes you can't make this stuff up: Auto companies answerable to an auto taskforce that's not answerable to anybody.

A taskforce run by a guy who doesn't talk to anybody. We know he's there calling the shots, but it's like he's the Wizard of Oz: Some ominous dude behind a curtain, until you discover he's a little dude behind a cheap curtain.

The Wizard was a movie. This dude's just a trip. Maybe because this dude's not a wizard, he's a czar.

Steve Rattner is essentially our "car czar;" the man who heads the president's auto taskforce.

What little we do know of Steve is that he's rich and he builds big houses in Martha's Vineyard.

Good for him. He's rich; that's what rich people do. But not all rich people are czars, are they? Or control what will amount to a $50 billion stake in GM, do they?

Leaving aside that things didn't work out too well for the last czar, the administration likes czars. We've got a car czar, a financial regulatory czar, soon a cyber-security czar.

I don't know where this is going. I do know it's going without anyone writing off on it or them.

Not us. Not even Congress. These czars are just created and, in Czar Steven's case, created with whole bureaucracies answerable to him.

But Czar Steven is answerable to no one.

So Czar Steven decides which factories close and which dealerships stay open; which car lines get the green light and which do not.

Never mind that Czar Steven doesn't know cars. He knows control and he knows the quickest way to lose that control, is to talk to anybody about how the hell he got that control or what he's doing with that control.

The czar knows best by apparently speaking the least and Czar Steven doesn't speak to anyone; not a single reporter who might want to know what he does or even how he occupies his day.

Tuna fish or chicken salad, today, Czar: What was it? From the czar, nothing — as if he were saying, "Quiet, silly subject! I'm the czar."

But again, he's not saying anything, is he? He doesn't have to. He's a czar and we're not.

If only Czar Nicholas had this gig, nothing would have ever happened to him.

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