Grrr! Tom Cruise, Meet the Moron

Tom Cruise (search) is a class act.

By now you've probably heard or have seen how the "War of the Worlds" (search) star was doused with a water gun by a fake reporter while walking the red carpet at the London premiere of the Steven Spielberg science-fiction flick on Sunday.

FREE VIDEO: Cruise and the Moron

And while other actors like Russell Crowe, Sean Penn or Colin Farrell might have decked the squirter (and I would have, too), Cruise didn't let his emotions get the better of him.

"Do you like thinking less of people, is that it?" Cruise asked, as the moron stood there silently, as if he were being berated by a disappointed dad. "You're a jerk," Cruise added.

The world's biggest movie star wiped his face and continued on for another two hours, giving interviews about the film and answering questions about his recent engagement to the lovely Katie Holmes (search).

The prank was pulled for a new celebrity-type reality show called "Grand Classics" — think MTV's "Punk'd," although Ashton Kutcher would never do something so stupid — for London's Channel 4.

The prankster and his crew were arrested for assault. And based on the moron's reaction, he definitely knew that what he did was absolutely wrong. He looked downright embarrassed, as if he knew that from now on he'll forever be that "jerk" who squirted Tom Cruise with water.

Talk about making your mark in the world of TV production.

Do the producers of this reality show think they will ever get credentialed at a major celebrity event again? Just ask Stuttering John — (formerly of "The Howard Stern Show" and now the announcer on "The Tonight Show") — just how many official interviews he was granted after ambushing celebs with asinine questions for the "King of All Media."

This show is dead before it even gets started.

The thing that makes MTV's "Punk'd" so appealing is that the stars who are punked know it's all in good fun. Kutcher was savvy as the producer and the star in that he only pranked his good friends at the onset of the show, thus easing the premise of the show into would-be punkees' collective consciousnesses.

Imagine you're world famous, where your safety is always a concern, and suddenly you're being squirted in the face with a liquid substance out of a fake microphone. It's lucky for the TV guy he wasn't shot by Cruise's bodyguard.

Imagine he tried that with Burt Reynolds, whom I Grrred a few weeks ago for smacking a CBS News producer in the face?

Pretty soon red-carpet interviews are going to be like Ultimate Fighting.

This isn't the first time the idiots at "Grand Classics" have targeted celebrities. Just last month, the show's crews doused Sharon Osbourne in the same manner. Osbourne, the wife of rocker Ozzy Osbourne, reportedly returned the favor by obtaining a champagne bucket filled with water from a nearby restaurant and dumping it on the cameraman.

You go, Sharon!

Boy, how creative are these Channel 4 producers? Do you think they came up with the water prank on their own? Maybe I should pitch this show to FOX. There could be an Emmy award in my future, don't you think?

Look, being squirted with water is not that big of a deal. But think about how you would react if you were interviewing a recent college graduate for a job in your office, and the kid squirts you with water from a fake fountain pen.

It's the same premise — Cruise was giving an unknown reporter his valuable time in the way of an interview — pretty gracious for a star of his stature.

You'd probably have security throw him out on his derriere, at the very least.

Cruise exercised amazing restraint. That comes from knowing that if he reacted like you or I might have, he'd be sued for millions of dollars.

Every once in a while, it stinks being rich and famous ... every once in a while.

Stupid Lit'l Dreamer (by Marissa Levy, FOX News Intern)

What starts out as one Stupid Lit'l Dream could one day translate into big bucks and critical acclaim — just ask the JibJab guys, who’s comedic Web site lampooning American politics and pop culture has millions of people worldwide chuckling at their computer screens., which debuted in 1999, now boasts over 70 animations with topics ranging from “Ahnuld for Governor” to a rap face-off between President Bush and Al Gore.

And the global sensation “This Land Is Your Land” cartoon garnered so many hits during the 2004 presidential election that the Internet hotspot’s server crashed.

“We were the last two guys on Earth to think that it would be seen over 80 million times online,” said JibJab founders Evan and Gregg Spiridellis at last month's Webby Awards ceremony in New York City, where the two brothers presented the "Breakout of the Year" award.

But the JibJab guys haven’t let their newfound fame distract them from their mission to entertain the masses. The brothers recently partnered with Budweiser to animate the beer empire’s dancing frog mascot, and coming soon, the average Joe will be able to see himself dancing with pop and political icons on JibJab’s new interactive Web site.

Check out for a heaping dose of comedic satire.

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Mike Straka is the director of operations and special projects for, and covers entertainment and features on the Sunday program "FOX Magazine." He also writes the weekly Grrr! Column and hosts "The Real Deal" video segments on