Grrr! Poor Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is appalled at Vanity Fair's cover story in which the young actress admits to using drugs and making herself sick.

She says that some of what she said was taken out of context and other parts of the article are out-and-out "lies." Never mind the fact that Vanity Fair says it has every word Lohan said on tape, and that its reporter has a spotless track record for reporting the facts.

It's always interesting to me how celebrities beg for attention, but when they get it, they're "appalled."

Lindsay, you are just following the lead of dozens of others who came before you. When the career is on a down slope, admit to drug use or some other stress ailment, like bulimia, and you'll be on the Hollywood A-List in no time, sweetie.

You should be thankful, not appalled. You've gotten more press this week than you have in the past six months, and you're not even in the window seat at The Ivy. Look at all the money you saved.

Don't forget. You're not Kate Moss. People will find you human and you won't lose a single role. However, breaking out of the Disney mold might be a good thing for you in the long run.

Air Grrr!

As if flying long distances in cramped airplanes isn't already uncomfortable enough, people routing through the overhead compartments with their butts in your face is enough to make you go Grrr!

That was my experience on a flight to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show (click to watch my FNC Imag coverage) in my aisle seat (I knew I should have booked a window seat). Every hour or so, the guy across the aisle from me would decide he needed some hard-to-find item that was packed away in his bag in the overhead compartment.

And every time he did it his butt was smack dab in my face.

The first few times he did it I tried my best to ignore it and not get too Grrr'd about it. This is a long flight after all, and I was hoping he would get what he needed and be done with it. But after, like, the sixth time of bending and hitting me in the head with his butt, I knew I had to say something.

But I didn't. I just bit my tongue and tried to fall asleep. I figured with my luck my comment would soon escalate into an argument, and the next thing you know some flight attendant would be having me arrested or some air marshal would be putting a bullet in my thigh.

Sometimes it's better to Grrr in silence.

Coffee Grrr!

So I went to Starbucks for a cup of joe the other day, and I had planned to use a gift certificate I received for Christmas.

Now Starbucks does charge a premium for its tasty beverages, but I don't mind paying the extra freight, mostly because the company pays its employees enough money to actually make a living and offers benefits 401k plans as well.

However when I went to use my gift card, I was told by a staffer that the store I was in was not an actual Starbucks owned and operated store, but a franchise, and therefore my gift certificate could not be honored. Grrr!

As far as I'm concerned, and last time I checked I was the customer, and I was in a Starbucks store. The backroom financials shouldn't concern me, and franchises, in all industries, should be made to honor gift cards.

Self Righteons

We know Left Lane Vigilantes are really Self Righteons, right? The only reason they're driving 50 mph in the left lane is because they think they're doing the right thing and therefore we should all be doing it their way.

Of course, they neglect the fact that by going under the speed limit they are breaking the law, and by making drivers pass them on the right, they are forcing others to break the law.

But that is the essence of a Self Righteon, isn't it?

They're the ones who will cross in front of a speeding vehicle because as a pedestrian they have the right of way. Never mind the fact that they're putting their very lives in the hands of some assembly line brake install. Amazing how they trust their lives with things they know nothing about.

Click here for your Grrrs

Respond to Mike | Grrr! Lexicon

VIDEO: Watch Mike's "Real Deal" webcast.

PODCAST: Take The Grrr! Column with you. Paste the link below into cast aggregator.,4369,92,00.xml