I was in need of some hair product the other day, so I figured I'd hit a local drug store for the usual gel or pomade.
But since I have to live up to the "perfect hair" that Thomas C. wrote about a few weeks ago in the Your Grrrs section, I figured I'd try something new, so I picked out an overpriced jar of "Molding Mud."
When I got it home, the stuff lived up to its namesake.
It's mud all right. Right down to the little grains of sand I keep shaking out of my head this morning. I might as well have buried myself on the beach before work.
And I paid $20 for this stuff. Yup, there's one born every minute.
Over the weekend I had the pleasure of interviewing Jeremy Piven at The Borgata in Atlantic City, N.J. I'm a huge fan of "Entourage" on HBO, and Piven didn't disappoint. The guy is erudite and a lot of fun to be around, and it seems like he's enjoying himself these days.
In case you haven't seen it, Piven plays the most obnoxious type of Hollywood agent one could ever imagine, and he's brilliant at it.
"Entourage" premeired its third season Sunday night.
Of course, I was also supposed to interview boxing great Oscar de la Hoya, since he was promoting the fight between Antonio Tarver and Bernard Hopkins, but he apparently decided he didn't want to do any press, so he avoided me and a bunch of photographers like the plague.
Thankfully, Piven didn't come to the same conclusion.
Hopkins, incidentally, schooled Tarver in a unanimous decision to claim the light heavyweight championship of the world on Saturday night.
The weekend brought with it its fair share of Grrrs, although I did discover that afternoon baseball on television is perfect if you're looking to take a nap. I've come to call a little unplanned shut-eye "Baseball Napping."
Gasoline hit $3.15 per gallon in good old New Jersey.
Yeah, that's a Grrr! alright, $45 to fill my little Toyota Rav4. It's a good thing I ride my bike to the train station every day, otherwise I'd need a second job just to get to my first job.
If I were a car commuter, I would take the rise of gasoline prices out on all of my utility companies.
$3.15 per gallon? OK, cancel the premium cable package. $3.25? OK, time to go exclusive with the charcoal grill. No more electric oven use until oil comes down. $3.30 per gallon? Now we're going to get extreme. Time to cut off high-speed Internet access.
OK, maybe I won't go that far. The thought of going back to dial-up Internet service won't even stand as a joke in my column! No way, José.
Speaking of my column, I got thousands of e-mails last week when I disagrrred with Ann Coulter about comments she made in her new book disparaging some 9/11 widows. I don't necessarily disagree with her point, but I did disagree with the personal attacks she made.
At any rate, here's a side note to Coulter: Out of about 5,000 e-mails, there were around 10 e-mails agreeing with me. The rest love you, no matter what you say or how you say it.
Just wanted to pass on that little bit of information.
The Onion Gods
The Onion Gods got back at me after I wrote a Grrr on the practice of restaurants putting onions in absolutely everything. In case you haven't deduced, I hate onions, and I don't see the need of putting little chopped onions in all foods, from tuna salad to hamburgers to hoagies.
Wolfgang Puck apparently disagrees with me.
I ordered a pepperoni pizza at a Wolfgang Puck Express at the Las Vegas airport last week, returning home after interviewing Tony Lifetime Achievement Award winner Hal Prince, who is at The Venetian directing "Phantom of the Opera," which opens there later this month.
When I took a huge bite out of a slice of pizza from my "personal pie," I was met with a mouthful of onions that were hiding their little chopped selves under the pepperoni, under the cheese and apparently blended in with the sauce.
I thought this was strange since I ordered a pepperoni pizza, which listed no onions as an ingredient. I did not order the vegetarian pizza, which did list onions as an ingredient. Oh well. Now I know that Wolfgang Puck puts onions in his pizza sauce, and won't be making that mistake again.
Why do restaurants list ingredients for some menu items but not the others? I could have saved myself the trouble and actually ordered something that I wanted to eat.
Questions on the Road
Why do people forget how to drive when it rains?
Why do people insist on rubber-necking when there isn't even anything to see? I was stuck in miles of traffic the other day only to discover the incident that caused the jam was simply an overheated car on the left lane shoulder.
Of course, without those rubber-neckers it would have been much harder to spot the ImporTants riding the shoulder. How do I get on that list where I can do anything I want?
Another 'Sopranos' Book
Steve Schirripa, the actor who plays Bobby Bacala on "The Sopranos," has added to the ever-growing library of "Sopranos" actors writing uninspired books on what else? Food.
This one is called "The Goomba Diet," and it's full of back-page quotables from, well, who else? You got it, "Sopranos" stars like Michael Imperioli, Vince Curatola, Tony Sirico, James Gandolfini and Steve Van Sandt. There's even a producer thrown in the mix.
Schirripa's gems include:
"Touch your toes. If this is difficult, pay a guy to do it for you," and "Do they put up crime scene tape after you visit the buffet?"
Ahhhhhhh. I can barely contain my laughter. It's almost as funny as the Vito Spatafore gay mobster story line that ate up the entire season of "The Sopranos" this year. Now I know why they take so long in between seasons of the show — all of the stars need time off to write books about food.