FOXSexpert: The Art of the Quickie

What takes less time than brewing a pot of coffee, or sitting through Super Bowl commercials, or filling up your gas tank? Sex-on-the-run, that is! In today’s busy world, the quickie is catching on. People are not only turned on to the time efficiency and minimal efforts involved in such "sexcapades," but all of the great things sex on the fly can do for your relationship. Quickies can:

— Provide stress relief

— Rekindle passion and love, even going so far as to be a relationship saver

— Decrease performance anxiety

— Boost your mood, energizing your mind, body, and soul

— Help you lose weight

— Up your sexual desire

— Do the trick for those times you’re too busy for leisurely lovemaking.

Given its many benefits, it seems that more and more couples are breaking up their "normal" routine with quickie quests. In indulging their sexual urges — in responding to their sexual desires — and in a timely fashion no less, couples are making memories as they strengthen their relationship with such animalistic adventures. The ones who are successful with their instant gratification pursuits will tell you that they simply follow a few rules:

1. Quickies are all about carpe diem - seizing the day. You can’t wait for the perfect moment. You can’t wait until you’re feeling or looking a certain way when it comes to must-lust-now moments. Don’t make excuses. Just do it!

2. Realize that quickies don’t require having all out sexual intercourse. Quickies can involve no more than making out, heavy petting, or oral interludes. Strapped for time, many couples use these ravenous rendezvous as a form of foreplay, keeping each other primed for longer passion pursuits when time allows.

3. Understand that you’re not necessarily going to be making love. While a quickie should never be handled as a hit-and-run, it’s okay for such coitus cocktails to be served up a bit chilled at times. Quickies will never — or should never — replace your "regular" sex life. They’re simply ways to satiate your I-miss-you-I-can’t-resist-you sex fix.

4. You need to be okay with the fact that you may not climax. Quickies are not always going to result in orgasm for a man or woman. They’re more about connecting with each other than physical gratification.

5. Be willing to tease each other throughout the day. While this is not necessary, wooing with each other while apart — whether via titillating text messaging, erotic emails, or flirty phone calls — sets sexual arousal in motion. This is the closest you’ll come to foreplay. Such seduction strategies also allow one’s sexual response, including orgasm, to come more readily during your "drive thru" desire efforts.

6. Turn yourself on throughout the day. Get in the mood to be in the mood when the moment takes you. You can do this by fantasizing about what you’ll do later, by reading erotica on your coffee break, by remembering how you felt last time you… (I’ll let you fill in that blank).

So with the rules of the game understood, how do you actually pull off a quickie?

First, dress for success. This starts with clothes that make you feel sexy. Consider attire that allow for as much skin touch as possible. This could be fabrics that feel good, like satin, or outfits that don’t leave much to the imagination. Furthermore, while you’ll be consumed with that rip-my-clothes-off feeling, you don’t want to actually remove any clothing, since that wastes time and raises the stakes should you get busted.

Go for the unexpected. Half the thrill of a quickie is its lack of planning. Be bold and give your partner a little bit of love when it’s least expected. Don’t wait for the bedroom. Part of what makes quickies so captivating is the element of devilish dare and astonishment.

Turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. For example, you have to eat, right? Well instead of dining at your dinner table, feast on your lover, arranging your sushi, crackers and cheese, whatever, on your partner’s stomach, buttocks or back. Get into a quickie mentality, evaluating everything you do as possible moments for "misbehaving."

Choose positions from which you can easily unwind. Enough said.

Keep things wet. It’s not unheard of for those on regular quickie quests to arm themselves with travel-size lubricants. Wetter makes for better action — and easier efforts too.

Explore your territory — indoors and out — privacy within reason. You certainly don’t want to have anybody, like a police officer, catching you in the act. That’s not to say, however, that you can’t push the envelope in your erotic pursuits. Just be smart about it.

While quickies may not be considered quality couple time for a lot of people, they’re worth pursuing, if only occasionally. Weekly, monthly, or yearly, the rewards are great. This is especially true when you consider that sexual satisfaction is a stronger predictor of a higher quality of life. Furthermore, there is a strong association between sexual interest and one’s sense of well-being. Those who have more frequent and more enjoyable sex during midlife report more satisfying sex lives as they mature. Personally, I can’t think of better reasons to get a little fresh with a special honey, even if it’s no more than fleeting sexual antics.

In the Know Sex News…

— In charge and willing to wait. According to a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health, when it comes to engaging in first-time sex, Latina women are strongly influenced by a sense of personal control over sexual behaviors. Research out of the University of Chicago Medical Center, focusing on this population, indicates that a greater sense of personal control is the strongest factor in delaying sexual intimacy, outweighing the influence of partners, friends, and family. Family expectations played heavily as well, especially when a female’s family regarded her education as important.

— It only takes one person, one time. Almost one-third of college-aged women who have had only one sexual partner still acquired human papillomavirus within one year of becoming sexually intimate. A study in the Journal of Infectious Diseases asked women to track their sexual activities and to estimate how many sexual partners their partners had had. Women whose partners were thought to have had at least two previous sexual partners were likelier to have HPV. Amongst possible reasons for infection: unreported sexual partners by participants or their lovers, and decreased condom use over the course of the relationship.

— Tech-style sex communication gets a big push at SexTech Conference. With 90 percent of 12 to 17-year-olds using the internet, and 35 percent of 8 to 12-year-olds equipped with their own cell phone, health professionals and educators are utilizing video podcasts, computer games, and text messages to educate teens about sexual health and sexuality. The Internet Sexuality Information Services (ISIS), in conjunction with Columbia University and the University of Colorado, plans to launch an HIV/AIDS awareness project on MySpace for 14- to 18-year olds, given its users are in the millions.