So Obama thinks that FOX News has hurt him in the polls, saying that even if he watched us, he wouldn't vote for himself either.

Now, I don't think he's wrong. I actually think FOX News does go after him. But hell, someone has to.

For my whole life, every network has been uniformly, heart-bleedingly liberal. Nearly every damn magazine, newspaper and after-school special spits out the same lefty assumptions — rich people greedy, Republicans bad, America evil — as though they are suffering from a Marxist version of Tourette.

And Obama is their guy.

That's why today, every anchor has a woodie for him, and every star-struck pop singer offers the Messiah their services for free. And there's the late night comics, who hammer Republicans seven times more often than Dems. It's just too easy to be funny.

But despite all this, you still have twerps soiling their diapers over FOX News just because it won't comply with an overarching liberal theocracy. You've got celebrity cretins like Tim Robbins, watchdog weenies like Media Matters and crybaby cranks like Keith Olbermann suffering seizures because FOX won't roll over.

I say, stop being a bunch of pussies, you pretty much own the airwaves.

And as for you Obama, stop acting like a kid who complains because you got a 98 instead of a perfect grade. Seriously, you don't need mindless obedience from everyone to win.

So Obama, if you're expecting people here to kiss your ass, you'll need to go elsewhere. I hear there's a guy at MSNBC with a thrill up his leg dying to give you a sponge bath.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com