This is a rush transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," May 14, 2008. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, why is Hillary Clinton staying in the race? Mr. Miller wants to know. He joins us now from Los Angeles.
Big win in West Virginia, though, Miller. Aren't you impressed?
DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Before we go on with that, Bill, that safari footage, just amazing. I found out today that the young buffalo was a super delegate. And that's actually what was happening there.
O'REILLY: They were tearing him to pieces.
MILLER: They were trying to woo the super delegate.
Hillary, I — you know, Hillary is a determined girl. She makes the Terminator look like somebody who would fold pocket aces. And she now stands astride West Virginia like a latter-day colossus. I haven't even anybody rule that state since Eddie Rabbit dropped ship the "I Love a Rainy Night" platinum. So this is a big day for her. Big day.
You know, Obama didn't hurt himself any when he was shooting pool earlier in the week, and he kept smacking the cue ball and referring it to it as the white ball. I think that did not help him.
O'REILLY: You know, when you — I want to ask you this, because I asked it to Laura Ingraham. Twenty-two percent of the people in the exit poll said race was a Factor. And Laura Ingraham says there might be extenuating circumstances in that; it's not all skin color. It could be about attitude, things like that.
And I think she might be right about that. But how did you take that stat when it came out?
MILLER: That thing in San Francisco is coming home to roost more than Reverend Wright, more than anything. The elitism of that comment. Listen, you're talking about some people that might have inferiority, you know, complexes to begin with. And when he comes in with that mindset about how he understands them and all their deficiencies, it's deadly. You know, that's what did him in.
O'REILLY: Isn't a pied de terre — isn't that a little apartment someplace?
MILLER: Well, pied de terre set. The hoi polloi. Everybody up there, everybody standing around, talking about the proletariat at Gibson's.
O'REILLY: When you speak French, I get nervous, you know. But pied de terre is a little apartment that you pay millions of dollars for here in New York.
MILLER: Yes. It's the sort of place where Bennett Cerf would make you a drink.
O'REILLY: Bennett Cerf, there you go. Eddie Rabbit and Bennett Cerf, two of my favorites.
Now, talking about insecure guys, John Edwards, he comes out today and endorses Obama, which has got to put him over the top, right?
MILLER: Well, you know what they say about John Edwards: inch wide, inch deep. This guy is beyond lightweight. He's diaphanous. It's like getting an endorsement from Ryan Seacrest. You know, just hit the mark and tell me what phone call — what number to call for the contestants, OK?
O'REILLY: We ought to call Seacrest and see if he wants to endorse tomorrow.
MILLER: John Edwards is the vehicle for a haircut to get around town.
O'REILLY: Do — we have an awning commercial on FOX. I swear that's John Edwards doing that awning commercial. People might see it. Tomorrow please remind me in the booth, you know, just to get the guy in the awning commercial, and let's put him up next to John. It's Edwards, I know it is.
All right.
MILLER: And by the way, Bill, can I just — can I just say real quickly, imagine the Jim Jeffords line of people trying to be candidate 2025. They are going to be queuing up. Everybody wants that imprimatur, you know, on the Democratic side, to be the one that put him over the top. It's going to be like the Sadie Hawkins dance.
O'REILLY: Well, maybe Ryan Seacrest could be the one to do it. And we're going to try to get him.
MILLER: There he is.
O'REILLY: Now, the Memphis thing, when you and I were in high school, you know, back when they had no cars and we had to take horses to school, if we had done these dances, Miller, we would have been arrested. Not suspended. Arrested.
So my question to you is you have teenaged boys. What's changed since we were at school and now?
MILLER: Well, I got a couple theories. First off, I would say we had our groove, our twist, our limbo. This is the new kids' dance, the Spitzer. And every generation is going to have — going to have their dance.
O'REILLY: The Spitzer, is that what you just said?
MILLER: Yes.
O'REILLY: Wasn't it by the Dovells? Didn't they sing "The Spitzer"?
MILLER: I think it's Little Anthony and the Imperials, if I'm not mistaken. But two things here, Bill. Most of these kids were 9 and 10 during the Lewinsky thing. I know they're going to pass the buck and say that has nothing to do with it.
But I remember explaining to my kid oral sex stuff at 9 and 10 coming out of the Oval Office. This is what eventually happens. It gets a little coarser out there. Do I think it's the end of the world? No. Do I think everything's...
O'REILLY: If you saw your kid on a videotape at his high school doing that, what would you do?
MILLER: You know, I'd call him home and tell him that he's not allowed to go to the dances anymore. He's grounded.
O'REILLY: So you'd ground him. Now what would you say to the teacher standing there watching your kid do it and not doing anything about it?
MILLER: I'd say they're more childish than the kid, quite frankly.
But here's the problem. You can't fire anybody anymore. I was watching a story on your show the other night about a 9/11 operator told somebody to go to hell. They can't be fired. The principal can't be fired.
This is commonsense stuff. This guy should be whacked. Like I said, it's not the end of the world, but it's fireable.
O'REILLY: No, but the principle has got — any school with that, it's out of control. And there was a shooting at the school. It's a troubled situation.
All right. Finally, the third thing I have for you, the Vatican came out today and said it's OK to believe in aliens. And Americans, 34 percent of us, do believe in UFO's and all of that. So the Vatican, I guess, is saying look, you know, if they're up there, you can believe in them. What do you say?
MILLER: Well, I want to thank David Duchovny for giving me the green light over there. But I noticed they also said I still cannot believe in married gay aliens. So things are about the same as they always have been.
O'REILLY: If the aliens are gay, they may have some trouble with the Vatican. But if they're straight...
MILLER: I'm not supposed to believe in that.
O'REILLY: You can believe it.
MILLER: Hetero aliens.
O'REILLY: Let's review. The Dovells, "The Spitzer," Ryan Seacrest, Eddie Rabbit doing something in West Virginia, not quite clear on what it was, and pied de terre. Did we cover it?
MILLER: That's it, Billy.
O'REILLY: Dennis Miller, everybody. Give him a round of applause.
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