Dennis Miller on Super Tuesday II

This is a rush transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," March 5, 2008. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: On the radio today, both Dennis Miller and I took many, many calls about the Obama-Clinton shootout. So obviously, I want to know what the star of "Amnesia," a quiz program on NBC, remembers about last evening. Dennis Miller joins us now from Los Angeles.

So you must have been surprised last night. I was a little bit surprised by the Texas deal. I thought that Hillary Clinton would win in Ohio. What did you think?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, you know, it reminded me that in many ways, Hillary Clinton is Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction." And you better hold her for the extra breath or she's coming up with a Ginzu. And that's what happened last night.

I think Barack Obama — you know, when I hear Dick Morris, and I had my earpiece in, so I was privy to him talking a little bit about how he didn't think the Clintons would go to the nuclear option. I think people ascribe more nobility to them vis-a-vis the Democratic Party than I do. I've always said I think they're in the Clinton business.

To me, they're like Bonnie and Clyde ripping through the countryside in that jalopy. And they've got Buck Barrel in the back. He's kicked out the window. He's shooting out the window. Madeleine Albright is Estelle Parson. She's screaming. You hear that banjo music. They're just going to do what they have to to advance their cause.

O'REILLY: Come on now. I agree that the Clinton machine will do what it has to do, but there wasn't a lot of ruthless garbage thrown at Barack Obama by the Clintons, up to the vote in Ohio and Texas.

What you had was Hillary Clinton whining about getting the first question all the time at a debate, kind of telling people that I'm getting worked over and he is getting a pass, which was true by the media. And then Barack Obama himself, his guys screwed up the NAFTA thing, which I don't think was a big deal anyway. I don't think most people know what NAFTA is.

And then there was a little bit of phone ringing at 3 a.m. where Hillary wouldn't answer the phone, Barack did answer and said, "I hate Iraq" or some stupid thing. I didn't see any "Mrs. Ruthless" leading up to this vote. Did you?

MILLER: It only goes ruthless. I think it was Clintonesque though. He best get used to the pricks of a thousand arrows, because that's what's coming from here on in. Now, when they say to her — says for all I know he's not Muslim, all those things add up.

O'REILLY: All right. So the little pause. "He's not a Muslim. He's not a Muslim." The little pause. "… as far as I know." OK. That was cute, but I didn't think that that was a ruthless "let's cut his throat" play. Did you really?

MILLER: No, I don't think it was — I just said I didn't think I thought it was a cut his throat play, Bill. I do think that the Clintons speak to a certain pessimistic contingent of the Democratic Party that is put off by Barack Obama. I think there are certain people that look at Barack Obama when he talks about in a positive thing, when he doesn't want to get down.

There are some people on the left, believe it or not, they're all going to fancy themselves as like, you know, Rod McEwen lyrics, but they're not. There are some players over there who like it combative.

She gets up everyday and talks about going to war with this guy. And I think that that's what's going to happen. He's going to find out that not everybody wants to play nice. There are people in that party who are going to want to destroy him.

O'REILLY: Look, I think it will get rougher, but I was surprised in the Texas vote. If you analyze the breakdown of it, it was the elderly women, Miller, that put Hillary Clinton over the top. And I can't really — and I've asked this question throughout the program: Why do the elderly women like her?

Now, all the ladies tell me they identify with her struggle, that she had some marital problems, you know, this, that, and the other thing. People make fun of her pantsuits, or whatever they're making fun of. The elderly women can identify with her life experience. Do you think that's what it is?

MILLER: I think they can less identify with Barack Obama, to be honest with you. I just don't think they get him as much. Listen, there are surprises every week with Hillary Clinton. Jack Nicholson has endorsed Hillary Clinton. Now, I know there are always cultural scholars that theorize that, apres the lobotomy, Randall McMurphy would, indeed, fall in love with Nurse Ratchet. I guess this validates that theory.

But I think she speaks to a certain dogged determinism. And I think when they got right up next to it yesterday and said, "Do we really want to vote for this positive guy with these ethereal ideas who really doesn't want to change it," a lot of people ran back through the surf and said, "No, we don't. We want to stay down and dirty with some fighters like the Clintons who we know can take this guy down and will feel no compunction about taking him down."

I think they think Barack might ease off on John McCain. And I don't mean ease off on issues. I mean ease off on playing rough with him. And that's where they come down at the end of the day. They go, "I'm going to go with the Clintons. I know they're dogged. I know they'll do."

O'REILLY: So you're saying that a lot of Democrats took into effect who could beat John McCain, and they think Barack Obama is too nice and that Hillary will go in and whack him upside the head? That's an interesting point.

Now, the Nicholson play — and I saw him when I was out in L.A. when I told you, because I saw Miller when I was out in L.A. at the Laker game. And — but Jack Nicholson, and Warren Beatty, his pal, and all these, they're old-time Dems. They're, you know, machine Democratic right down the list. And they say you've got to pay your dues. And Barack Obama just hasn't paid them yet. It's OK to have him on the VP. But we're going to go with our Clinton people because, you know, they're the solid Democratic machine establishment. And I think that's what the Nicholson play was.

But let me ask you this. Do you think anybody in the country would vote for any candidate based upon what Jack Nicholson tells them to do?

MILLER: Well, no, I don't.

O'REILLY: There isn't anybody, you know, Jack Nicholson is voting for that guy. Oh, I've got to get there. Come on. I love him. I love him. He's a funny guy. He's a great actor. I love him. But if Jack tells me to vote for somebody, you know, right away I've got my hand on my wallet and I'm saying I don't know, Jack. You know what I'm talking about? I know I need you on that wall. I don't know if I need you telling me who to vote for.

MILLER: It's just that you're shocked that somebody that cool would come down with what I construe to be the square candidate. Rob Reiner I can understand. He probably got into Jack's head a little and asked him to do that ad. But Nicholson seems too cool for that. I could see like, you know, he likes to be in the fray. He doesn't want to be construed as a kid outside near the fountain when the Beatles are staying in the plaza.

O'REILLY: Did you see Jack Nicholson at the end of the ad? We're going to run a video of what we're talking about now. Jack didn't really look cogent in that shot. "I'm Jack Nicholson. I approved this ad." It wasn't his finest moment, you know. The hair was a little askew. It looked like he hadn't really slept a lot in the last three weeks. So I'm not exactly sure on how that's going down. But I don't know that does Hillary Clinton any good, you know. It's great for us. We love it. But is somebody in San Antonio going, "That's right, Jack. I'm going out and voting for Hillary Clinton." Some woman, 87 years old. Well, maybe she liked "Easy Rider," going, "I like that. I'm going to vote for Jack."

I'll give you the last word.

MILLER: Jack is the inverse of my relationship with most people. I only trust him when he's wearing sunglasses. So yes, it was a little weird when he took them off. They're going to come down to Pennsylvania and tell me — that battlefield is going to make Gettysburg look like rock, paper, scissors.

O'REILLY: I agree with you, because Obama has got to open up now. I mean, Morris thinks he's got it locked. But I think the Obama campaign are going, "You know, we're going to give her a little jazz now. We're going to give her a little south side of Chicago." I think that's what you're going to see.

MILLER: Well, Hillary is riding the chopper, and Rezko is in the catbird seat, my friend.

O'REILLY: Dennis Miller, everybody. Always good to see you, Dennis.

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