This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," August 12, 2009. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: Talk radio's almost wall-to-wall health care these days, the battle raging all over the country. Dennis Miller, heard on Westwood One, is no exception. The purveyor of pique joins us now from Los Angeles.

All right, now you heard what we talked about today. Had a plant — little girl planted in New Hampshire. We had fear and loathing in Maryland and Missouri, calling Senator McCaskill, who we had on. She seems like a very nice woman. They're yelling at her. What say you?

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DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: First off, I wish I could attract enemies like Gibbs at the White House. I envy you, Billy, that Gibbs makes Scott McClellan look like Robert Oppenheimer. So I think you're in — I think you're in a good place there.

O'REILLY: Do you want to explain Robert Oppenheimer to the audience?

MILLER: Well, he had something to do with insurance. No, he was the guy who built the bomb.

O'REILLY: The atom bomb. So you're not a big Robert Gibbs fan. I thought it was pretty dumb of him to try to attack FOX News as being the saboteur of health care.

MILLER: Gibbs will say whatever gives him the biscuit. They give him the biscuit if he goes out and trashes FOX. He reminds me of those PC vs. Mac commercials. He reminds me of the PC guy. He's a little bit outmoded. But the weird thing is Barack's starting to remind me of Johnny Friendly a little, you know? They have these town halls. You can hear all the SEIU guys outside, tapping the baseball bats, like they're in the church basement with Karl Malden. And I'm not surprised when Barack shows up to one of these himself why nobody wants to speak up. He's proven in the past, this guy, he will trash you if he construes you to be a rube. I've seen him raise that eyebrow about Joe the Plumber. I've heard the "cling to their God and gun" thing. You don't want the most popular guy in the world singling you out and calling you a square. So I think Barack's a — he plays hardball here. He's like a Chicago pol, and I can see why nobody wants to step up and get in his bad graces.

O'REILLY: Well, he's very, very accomplished in front of groups. Are you surprised that it's all gone wrong the last three weeks?

MILLER: Not that accomplished, Bill. I mean, he's just — listen, when you can stand up in front of a room in today's climes and say, talking about — to advance your cause, saying, "Look at UPS and FedEx. They work. It's the post office that has trouble." And nobody calls you on that? I don't know if you're accomplished or at that point you just have a free pass. I'm convinced that at this point, Barack Obama could get in a flight suit and land on a carrier deck in a jet and stand in front of a "Mission Accomplished" sign and nobody in the press would call him out about it. So is he accomplished, or does he just have a free pass? Looks like he has a free pass to me.

O'REILLY: No, but what I mean is that he — he kind of sailed through the first almost six months of the administration, and then he's hit the wall, bang. You know, Americans have turned against the health care thing. All the polls show that. They can try to blame it on FOX News, but it's ridiculous. But you know, the folks are saying, "Look, the guy is not selling it right. He's just not." And I'm a little bit surprised that he's not more articulate.

MILLER: Here's the — when you trace back the line to the fuse on this ire at these health care meetings, to me it's like this. America is just saying that they're willing to take care of people who need a leg up. They don't want to help people who they think is a screw-up, but when you tell them you're going to get people who aren't even here legally, they go, "What's that?" So it's a question of three ups here. Help the people who need help. Don't help the screw-ups. And if you're not here illegally, none of this applies to you. So — if you're not here legally, I should say, none of this applies to you. That's the anger bubbling up there.

O'REILLY: There's a lot of different — there's a lot of different aspects to it. Now, Nancy Pelosi, another polarizing figure, doesn't help Barack Obama at all, is having some issues out in California, I understand. What exactly is that?

MILLER: Well, listen, from calling our CIA liars to calling the people un-American to inferring they're Nazis, Nancy Pelosi always seems to be able to put the ugliest possible face on something, and I think that's catching up to her. Now, she's going to have this big confab out at her winery in — in the valley, Napa Valley, over the weekend to raise money. And I would tell you something about a guided tour from Nancy Pelosi across the vineyard. It's going to be tough to tell the sour, old, scrunched up prunes from the grapes out there on that trip. And I'm sure somewhere along the way she'll come across Lucy Ricardo and the gypsy chick, and she'll jump into the wine vat with them and start stamping on people's First Amendment rights. If people want to show up and whine, for Nancy Pelosi to infer that they're Nazis, just show how empty-headed she is. Nancy Pelosi is the only politician in the country where you can leave the box next to her name blank on a ballot, and they assume you're voting for her.

O'REILLY: Now, she has a beautiful house in Pacific Heights in San Francisco. A hundred and seventy guests are going to gather for dinner on the back lawn. Have you bee invited to that, Miller, by the way? Are you — and I wonder what they're serving there. Do you know?

MILLER: You know, I wouldn't even go near Nancy Pelosi, because there's people in my life who I disagree with. There are other people in my life who bug me. There are people in life who I think are karma compromises. If you hang out with them, you literally put yourself in harm's way as far as karma, because they're that bad a person.

O'REILLY: Really?

MILLER: I view Pelosi as a karma compromise.

O'REILLY: You wouldn't even go if they gave you a free ticket and a helicopter ride?

MILLER: Come on. Are you kidding me?

O'REILLY: I'd go. I would go to cause chaos. You know, if I walked in…

MILLER: I wouldn't go. Like I said, I like a good dustup as much as the next guy. I think to be around Pelosi and not call her on what a vapid, insipid, empty-headed and nasty piece of work she is puts your own karma in compromise.

O'REILLY: Wow. OK. Now, she also owns the vineyard in Napa, valued between five and 25 million bucks. And I think you and I should go there for a little wine tasting something. I don't know about the karma thing, but maybe we could wear an asbestos suit or something to protect us from that body (ph).

MILLER: I think it's — I think it says everything about the free pass politicians get on ethics, that you can value a vineyard for purposes of the public record for between five million and 25 million? Does that not define the wiggle room that we give these mindless idiots on Capitol Hill?

O'REILLY: Sure, absolutely.

All right, now in Oregon, we reported earlier this week there's a woman who wants to run around naked. Her name is Rae, and she says the cops had given her the go-ahead. Roll the tape.


RAE, NUDIST: Adam and Eve were naked, and everything was fine until they ate bad food, and then they got really self-conscious. I stopped eating bad food a year ago. I mean, I've been walking out there when I've got to get something out of my car. I'm just doing whatever feels right.


O'REILLY: Do you know her, Miller? Have you ever met her?

MILLER: No, but I will say this. Upon first blush, and that's the first I've seen her, I don't think she's hot enough to walk around naked.

O'REILLY: So there is a barometer of physical appearance you need to have to get that...

MILLER: Well, let's put it this way, Bill. When you go next door to borrow sugar off your neighbor, are you able to borrow a big cup of sugar or a C-cup of sugar? I guess that's what it comes down to.

O'REILLY: That sounds a little chauvinistic to me, Miller, but I'm not sure, you know? All right, everybody. Dennis Miller, laying it out there. Nancy Pelosi's best friend.

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