Chris Matthews Wins 'In the Tank' Award

So last Sunday, I mentioned how awesome Obama looked playing basketball. I described him as Jesus Christ, but with a better jump shot.

Yesterday on "Hardball," Chris Matthews has said the same thing, mentioning how impressive Barack looked shooting baskets, as well as how great it was too see all those smiling black troops welcoming the new messiah. It's as though the troops think Obama is really looking out for them. Which is a little strange. I mean, Obama was against the surge, which is winning the war and saving lives. So I wonder if Obama thinks victory in Iraq makes him look kinda bad.

Still, he's so damn handsome!

My guess, however, is that all the smiling troops have little to do with Barack's politics. Rather, troops spend a lot of time, bored, waiting for crap to happen and famous people are interesting. They'll come out to see anyone — with the possible exception of Estelle Getty, who passed away this morning — God rest her soul.

Seeing Obama in person is like seeing anyone in real life that you've only seen before on TV. That's why troops even applaud Nickelback — and they suck.

See, this reception is just an opportunity to marvel at someone that previously was only four inches tall in your living room.

(Insert penis joke here).

Anyway, Chris Matthews manages to miss this because he's in the tank for Obama. Rumor has it Matthews is starting a MySpace group called "Straight Men Who Would Marry Obama" with Jake Tapper as a charter member.

So congratulations, Chris, on being the very first winner of "Red Eye's" "In the Tank" award.
You will receive your prize shortly: a monogrammed pair of kneepads.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com