Bill Gates: 'You're Fired!' ... Grrr!

Is Donald Trump serious?

Last week Trump fired self-starter "Apprentice" wannabe Troy McLain, (search) implying that McLain's lack of a college degree makes him incapable of handling a "multibillion-dollar" business. Instead, Trump chose the Harvard MBA Kwame Jackson to proceed to the next round.

To that I say Bull-Dinky!

Does that mean people like Bill Gates, Tom Cruise, Andrew Carnegie, Walter Cronkite and John D. Rockefeller would also be ineligible to work for Mr. Trump? I guess so, since none of those highly successful people had, or have, college degrees -- other than honorary ones, which are just publicity ploys colleges use to get someone famous to speak at their school.

Grrr! on a society that puts so much emphasis on an education that many people these days are hard-pressed to afford. Grrr! to The Donald for playing it safe and choosing the self-promoting Kwame over the self-starting Troy. Sometimes -- and this depends on the individual -- but sometimes, so-called "street smarts" are just as good and better than book smarts.

Ask Trump's Taj Mahal (search) casino shareholders if his degree from the prestigious Wharton School helps them sleep better at night. With the casino facing bankruptcy, I doubt it very much.

Innovations ... Grrr!

OK. After maneuvering the "lumber-cart obstacle course" at Home Depot and surviving the self-checkout line behind the Oblivion who is probably still there, you're finally home and ready to install that new dimmer switch you desperately needed for the dining room light fixture. But now there's a slight problem. When you go to install it you can't get the darn package open. Whose bright idea was clamshell packaging (search) anyway? It's everywhere. Toys, computer hardware, tools and countless other products are so hard to open you'll need to buy a pair of Cutco (search) heavy-duty scissors to get to them.

But that's not the only innovation that makes me go Grrr!

How about knockoff Xenon (search) lights? These things in my rearview mirror make my eyeballs ache. How do I know they're knockoffs? Because true Xenon lights, which are brighter than standard bulbs and have a blue hue to them, are at least aimed correctly. Most of the knockoffs are not only too bright, but they're usually aimed too high. People, sometimes it's worth paying a little attention to how other drivers are seeing you.

Commuter Grind ... Grrr!

My commuter bus has a sign that reads, "As a courtesy to other passengers, please limit cell phone use to emergency calls only." Would be nice if people paid heed, but it would be even nicer if the bus driver didn't have his CB radio tuned LOUDER than most Oblivions talk on their cell phones. All morning long today: choook -- left lane is moving better than the right lane -- choook -- watch out for the accident on the eastern spur -- choook -- what time you getting lunch?

E-mail Oblivions ... Grrr!

Here's to all of the e-mail challenged people out there: When forwarding that chain letter or that stupid joke of the day that most of your recipients are deleting anyway, first: A. Highlight only the text of the joke you want to send by left clicking your mouse, and dragging the cursor to the end of the message. Now let go of the mouse. Hit the "Ctrl" and "C" keys on your keyboard simultaneously. B. Now, compose a new e-mail message as if you were sending a new e-mail.  C.  Put the cursor in the message body of your blank e-mail and hit the "Ctrl" and "V" keys on your keyboard simultaneously. D. Now enter your desired recipient's e-mail address in the "To" field and enter a subject in the "Subject" field.  E. Click "Send."

Or better yet, click delete.

Now for your Grrrs

Shelly in Georgia Grrrs: I work in a room full of cubicles, and we've got an Oblivion who loves to go "caroling"... she wanders from cube to cube, just to see what you're doing, to comment on what you are wearing, and to tell you the adorable thing that her sevev cats did last night. She talks very loud and very slow and tells the same stories over and over. The boss has told her privately, then told her publicly in front of a large group of our co-workers, that working in cubicles is very difficult and we should all watch our noise levels, phone calls, radios, etc. so we do not disturb others. But she can't believe he could possibly be referring to HER!!!

When I hear her voice getting close to my cube, I get an outside line and dial her direct phone number. When she hears her phone ringing back at her desk she heads that way... thus rescuing me from the intrusion. (Of course I hang up before she gets there, but she doesn't even realize she's being pranked!)  GRRRRR! to people who just don't get it!!

Nancy C. in Palm Bay, Fla., Grrrs: This goes out to all the hundreds of Oblivions who drive for miles and miles and miles with their turn signal on as they drive down the interstate or a street! Hey, that strange tick-tick-tick is not some sort of bomb attached to you car. Try turning up your hearing aid, or turning down that music you are blasting that makes you think your sooooooooo COOL (you are NOT by the way), or looking down once in awhile to check your dashboard!

Many is the time I have followed you just waiting for you to turn....somewhere....and then when you decide its time to turn you almost come to a  DEAD STOP to turn the corner. Just TURN ALREADY, its not that hard!!!!!! Ahhhhh, I feel better!! Thanks Mike for letting me vent!!!!

B. Allan Grrrs: Now that the nation's focus is on the price of gasoline, maybe it's time for the gas stations to get rid of that little 'nine' in the thousandths place in the price.  Whose brain child was it to price gas down to the tenth of the penny anyway? Are the pumps really that accurate?  I mean, c'mon,  are there people out there who would buy gas at $1.819 but not at $1.82?  Grrr...

Dustin in Montana Grrrs: I am a loyal reader of your column, Mike, and I cannot read another until I get this GRRRR! off my chest. My boss came to me recently and asked if I knew how to fix our printer. Not knowing what was wrong I said I would try and took a look... it was a paper jam. Not only was it a simple paper jam, the printer said exactly where the jam was. The fact that he could not fix a simple paper jam is not the GRRRR. What GRRRR's me is what he said after I fixed it, and these are direct quotes, "Well, I don't have the time or the patience to deal with this," "I'm a guy, Dustin. I don't read directions," "Well, this is what you get paid the big bucks for." I guess I am not a guy, despite biology, because I do read the directions. GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Steve in McKinney, Texas, Grrs: Applause to the select few theaters across the country that have banned children (of the screaming for no apparent reason age) from entrance to their theaters. There is one that I'm aware of in the Kansas City market and I recently saw a sign in a theater here in Dallas that would not allow children under the age of six after 7 p.m. I say, make it a rule across the country, no children in any theater anywhere that is not rated 'G'. Didn't someone somewhere create a movie rating system that says how old children need be to see a movie? Why can't theaters follow those same guidelines when selling tickets to patrons? If a movie is rated PG-13, only patrons 13 and up can enter the theater, no exceptions. If the movie is rated R, no one under 17 will see it, PERIOD!  No baby strollers or toddlers hiding in backpacks will be allowed into any movie that is not rated G. Is that so hard? It's not any harder than finding some trustworthy babysitter or relative to watch your screaming mee-mees while you and everyone else in the baby-free zone can watch a movie in peace. Grrrr!

Ben McCameron in Bloomington, Ill., Grrrs to Billy P. (last column): Oh Billy P., Billy P., Billy P., don't act like you have never gotten irritated at anyone for anything. It looks like your Grrr may actually be the Grrr itself.  Here are several situations where you may be able to sympathize with your fellow man: How about when that little kid (or adult) is kicking your seat the whole time on a flight from New York to LA.  Perhaps when someone cuts in line in any given situation where you have been patiently waiting your turn. Maybe even when someone is going 21 mph in a 30 mph zone just because they feel like it. I am sure you have plenty of Grrrrs, we all do its human nature. Great column MIke... keep up the good work.

T.T. in Florida Grrrs about her boss: It amazes me that someone who owns a profitable business (does not really do any work at the business, but owns it) cannot write a simple memo without a ton of grammatical mistakes and spelling errors. Every time an office memorandum (or memoranDUMB as we like to call them) is delivered, we grab the red pens and start hacking away at it. This man went to college and received an MBA, however using spell check is totally beyond his grasp. Lucky for him, he does have a rich father, so he will plunder his way through life with his smug attitude and absolute stupidity with no problems. Life can be unfair, but at least we can get a laugh out of it!

P.S. I love your column! I actually feel better after I read it. I realize that I am not alone, and there are still normal, considerate, thinking people in this country! I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE your new picture. The old one was fine (I know some people gave you flack for it, though I don't understand why) but this one is great!!  No disrespect to your wife, but you're hot!  Good looks and common sense, got any single brothers? :)

Vince B. in Ohio Grrrs: What does a guy do if his spouse is an Oblivion? My wife is in the habit of pulling out from our street onto a busy, 50 mile-an-hour road -- directly in front of cars speeding the same direction toward her. Now these drivers have to slow down or change lanes to avoid my wife's slowly accelerating vehicle. And in the grocery store, she stands in the middle of the isle with her cart, oblivious to the other shoppers who need to get around her. I can't get rid of her -- she does all the laundry and I can't iron! Any advice? -- P.S. She'd retort that I unbutton my pants in restaurants. But I know I do this, therefore negating my oblivion status.

-- Vince, my advice would be to buy your wife a faster car, say "Grrr!" each time she stops in the middle of the grocery aisle -- just until she becomes aware of others-- and keep your pants buttoned in restaurants.

By the way, check out my "FOX Magazine" feature on actress/singer Melissa Errico.

Until next week, Grrrrrrrrrr!

Read previous Strakalogue Grrr! columns

Mike Straka is the Director of Operations and Special Projects for, and contributes as a features reporter and producer on "FOX Magazine" (Sundays 11 p.m. on FNC) and "Sunday Best." As an actor, Straka appeared in the film "Analyze This," co-starred in the Off-Broadway hit "Tony n' Tina's Wedding," and has done several television commercials and various programs.

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