So here's another example of how junk science has become even junkier than something really junky:

Researchers have identified "third-hand smoke," an invisible evil that acts like a deadly Ghost of Cigarettes Past: Polluting the air, killing innocent babies and ottomans — even if they aren't present at the time.

As you can guess, this research is geared toward one end only: The banning of all smoking on private property — including your home.

But look, most researchers knew for years that second-hand smoke was a joke, but most were too scared to speak up, while others saw it as a self-righteous way to look sensitive and get butt loads of grant money.

The problem is, once you're addicted to junk science, you can't stop. What's next, after third-hand smoke? Fourth-hand smoke? Where you can actually feel the negatives effects of smoking simply by staring at an unopened pack of cigarettes?

I'm told even the blind are not immune.

But get this: After saying that a smoker's third-hand smoke is bad for babies, the researchers then note that for a smoker, breastfeeding a baby is still better than bottle-feeding. So after all this crap about poisoning the air, they're saying breast milk from a smoker is still better than milk from a bottle. Theoretically, a smoking mom that breastfeeds is a better mom, than a non-smoking bottle-feeder.

Now put that in your baby and smoke it!

And if you disagree with it, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com