Beauty and the Beast, Big Trouble, Enough and Jason X

It's a tale as old as time, and the motive is just as old: Beauty and the Beast is new on DVD and video this week and it's all about profits. You get a couple of versions, lots of deleted scenes and behind-the-scenes footage. But be their guest? Not exactly. You have to cough up $20. That's cheap if you count the number of times my two-year-old will watch it.

Next, the aptly titled Big Trouble was supposed to be a wacky comedy about a bomb in a suitcase. That was before Sept. 11. Nothing funny about the movie now, right? That's what audiences thought when it finally came out.

Has enough time passed to make this all -tar cast more amusing? Maybe. It certainly has lineage. Addams Family and Men in Black guy Barry Sonnenfeld directed it. On the other hand, he also brought us Wild Wild West.

Another aptly titled film? Enough stars Jennifer Lopez as a battered wife who takes a few kung fu lessons and turns into "Glam-bo." Has Ben Affleck seen this thing? J-Lo did all her own fighting. But she couldn't twist many arms at the box office. Maybe she'll have more luck on home video.

Finally, Jason is back in Jason X. That's Roman numeral math for 10. But it all adds up to nothing much. "Why?" I think we all agree this guy needs to stay dead.