Army's Analysis of Former Prisoner of War Jessica Lynch's Capture

And now some fresh pickings from the wartime grapevine:

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Army's Analysis
A report soon to be released by the U.S. Army officially negates media reports that former prisoner of war Jessica Lynch (search) emptied two revolvers at her Iraqi attackers. The Army's report also says media reports that the assailants shot and stabbed her were incorrect. What's more, the 15-page report says Lynch suffered her extensive injuries not from her captors, but from a vehicle accident prior to her seizure. In fact, one source tells the Washington Times that "Lynch survived principally because of the medical attention she received from the Iraqis."

Library Law
Last week, the Supreme Court upheld a law that forces federally funded libraries to install anti-pornography software on their computers. The Seattle Post Intelligencer now reports that the software may limit children's education. For example, kids in Toppenish, Wash., can't use library computers to look up their own city on the Internet because the software considers it a dirty word. The program takes offense at the portion of the name that begins with the second p and ends with the s. We'll let you figure it out.

Site Plight
And a job-seeking Iran expert from Arlington, Va., has received a note from the online job site informing her that it plans to remove from her resume the word, "Iran."  The Web site apparently fears that Dokhi Fassihian's resume might violate U.S. sanctions against Iran, imposed by virtue of Iran's sponsorship of global terror. Fassihian, a 27-year-old American citizen with a master's degree in international relations and numerous articles on Iran to her credit, asks The Washington Post, "How can you be an Iran specialist and not have the word 'Iran' on your resume?"

Disease, Please?
Some Chinese government officials have discovered the good side of SARS (search). Officials tell the L.A. Times that oddball Chinese merchants are now less likely to buy and sell wild animals, which have been blamed for spreading the disease throughout Asia. The Chinese also are devouring fewer feral beasts. This is good for all concerned. The head of the Chinese Conservation confesses that the Chinese "have a very bad reputation in the world for eating everything with four legs or two legs except planes in the sky, boats in the sea of chairs in the office."

— FOX News' Michael Levine contributed to this report