So a bunch of students staged a protest at New York University and it had more tools than Home Depot.

According to The New York Times, these students were vowing to continue occupying the school cafeteria until their demands were met. Sadly, none included a better quality of vegetarian corndog.

No, what they wanted was a thorough reporting of the college budget, a freeze on tuition and 13 scholarships given every year for students from the Gaza Strip — which I believe is an Arabic Gentlemen's Club on the Jersey Turnpike.

OK, I know these students thought they were speaking truth to power, but in reality, they were nothing more than pampered poodles who need a good a spanking — preferably by me while wearing my patented, spiky spanking glove (with spikes).

Look, if you can't handle the tuition, go to another school. That's how it works. I mean, seriously, I can't afford to fly first class, but I don't go protesting United Airlines. I fly coach.

Well, actually, I go Greyhound.

Worse, these Gaza Strip scholarships were little more than a calculated effort by egocentric spoiled brats to make themselves appear selfless to their progressive professors and the scruffy scribes at The Village Voice. But they were just revealing themselves to be what they always accuse evil Republicans of being: greedy, soulless bastards. Which may be their only redeeming quality.

And if you disagree with me, you're worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com