Ahmadinejad Badly Needs Gays

So the foul-smelling fruitbat Ahmadinejad spoke at that crack house known as Columbia University today. When asked why gays are executed in Iran, he claimed that there are no homosexuals in Iran. And he's probably right. When you execute them, there's no reason to believe there might be any left.

And it brings to mind the bigger question about gay American leaders, or GALs for short: Where were their protests over this jackass's arrival? Many GALs accuse America of being homophobic, but as long as they refuse to condemn cultures that kill gays for fun they should shut the hell up. More important, Ahmadinejad needs gays bad. Look at that waxed hair and that retarded coat. He needs a queer eye, fast. Let's hope he doesn't pluck it out beforehand.

As for his views on 9/11 — you've heard them all before, usually from left-wing academics, Sean Penn, or anyone who blogs at the HuffPo — Ahmadinejad feels we should be addressing the root cause of 9/11. And the root cause is almost always "big, bad America." The fact is, the root cause is obvious to anyone with common sense: terrorists, sponsored by radical fundamentalists, flew planes into our buildings. Anyone who thinks there's something else going on deserves a swift kick in the testicles (if they actually have any).

And that's my gut feeling.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com