You've never thought of Roger Clemens as a sportswriter, but the legendary pitcher got his first byline today in his hometown newspaper, the Houston Chronicle, as he said goodbye to Mariano Rivera.

Clemens' lede (that's how we spell it in the business; don't ask me why) is an anecdote about handing the ball to Rivera and trusting him to save what would become Clemens' 300th career win.

"As I leave the mound in front of 50,000 fans, I know that there aren't too many "for sure" things in this world," Clemens writes, "but having Mariano Rivera take over for you the last three outs of a Major League game is as close as you are ever going to get."

The column, if you can call it that, is brief, but it finishes with a self-referential zinger.

"And one last thing, Mo," Clemens writes. "When you're sitting at home next May and the Yankees are in need of a closer, remember ... anybody can retire once!"