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So much drama, you can't say we're not learning a lot, though. And one topic we've learned a lot about over the last year is Russia. And the reason we've learned about it is that Russia is Joe Biden's number one favorite topic of conversation. Joe Biden can talk about Russia forever, meaning in his case for up to four minutes at a time, which at this stage is Joe Biden's version of a filibuster. 

You may have asked yourself: When will Joe Biden ever stop talking about Russia? Well, very soon, actually. In fact, he seems to be losing his train of thought right now. But don't worry, he'll be back to it. Russia is a very comfortable topic for Joe Biden. He enjoys talking about it much more than talking about, say, inflation, or crime, or fentanyl deaths or about how half the population of Haiti appears to be showing up in Florida in leaky boats. 

Those subjects may interest you since you live in this country, but not Joe Biden, despite appearances, Biden doesn't actually live here. In his head, Joe Biden is floating high above the Sea of Azoff, swooping in over south-eastern Ukraine like a Botox superhero just to make sure everything's OK with his little buddies, the Ukrainians. Joe Biden is a protector that way. 


But he's also, at the same time, a scholar and a teacher, not a credentialed educator like the doctor he's married to. Joe Biden didn't go to community college in Delaware for a doctorate in diversity studies. He's just a civilian. But Biden can still lecture with the best of them. If you signed up for his "Intro to Russia is Bad" class this semester, you will not be disappointed. Professor Biden knows that material cold. 

So what have we learned so far? Well, first and foremost, Russia is bad. That's the name of the course. It's the entire syllabus, actually. It may be the only fact you will come away with after months of heavy coursework. Russia is bad. Learn that and you will ace the exam. 

Now, to be clear, we're talking about Russia here. We're not talking about the Soviet Union. There's a difference, and Joe Biden's been around long enough to know what that difference is. He's seen it firsthand. 

The Soviets wanted peace. Joe Biden told us that repeatedly in the 70s and 80s. Russia, by contrast, just wants war. The Russians are warlike people. It's inherent. Russians are driven by bloodlust. They have tiny brains. Their breath smells like herring. They're always drunk, often on aftershave or household cleaning products. On Sunday mornings, when good people are still asleep at home with their families, your average Russian will still be lurking through the dark streets, leering through bloodshot eyes, trying to subvert somebody else's democracy or conquer a peace-loving neighbor. That's just who Russians are. It's what they do. 

But if there's one thing you absolutely must know about Russia, if you're going to navigate this world, that thing is that on February 16th, 2022, Vladimir Putin is going to invade our closest ally in the world, Ukraine. So write that down February 16, 2022. Ukraine invasion begins. That's the day. 


Joe Biden has been very clear about that. So the intel agencies and of course, their stenographers in the news media. As Politico put it, "Russia will start a physical assault on Ukraine as soon as February 16, multiple U.S. officials confirmed" 

A physical assault. But this won't be your typical physical assault like the kind you've experienced in the New York City subway. No. 

According to Politico, this physical assault "could be preceded by a barrage of missile strikes and cyber-attacks." So these aren't just gang members, they're Russians. 

The Daily Mail confirmed Politico's reporting. "Putin has decided to invade Ukraine on Wednesday," read the headline. "Brits and Americans told to get out now." 

That same day, The Mirror in London, let us know they had seen Vladimir Putin's planning documents and operation snuff out Ukrainian democracy was already in motion. "Russian invasion of Ukraine set for 3:00 a.m. tomorrow with missiles and tank attack." 

So February 16, 2022 was definitely the day the music was going to die in Ukraine. Everybody knew that. But weirdly, nobody thought to tell the president of Ukraine, who, as an obedient puppet of the Biden State Department, you might think would have heard the news. But no, he hadn't. He was baffled by it. 

He said this, "We are told that February 16th will be the day of the attack. We will make it a day of unity. The relevant decree has already been signed. On this day, we will hang national flags, wear blue and yellow ribbons and show the world our unity." That was President Zelinsky. 


Now, keep in mind that in addition to being a puppet of the Biden administration, President Zelensky of Ukraine was also at one point a low-grade comic of some kind. So he was kidding. That was a joke. But in the American news media, there are no jokes. Humor has been banned for several years now. In fact, at this point, we're likely to hear a joke on a Russian news broadcast that on American television, which is pretty amazing. If you think about it, things have changed. Now, the readers of a teleprompter on our TV channels did not get this joke at all. So here's the coverage they produced: 

VOICEOVER: This is CNN breaking news 

CNN: We’re back with more on the breaking news just out of Ukraine. President Zelensky saying Ukraine has been informed that this Wednesday, the 16, will be the day of the attack. 

ABC: Ukraine’s President Zelensky, addressing his nation today about reports intelligence picked up that actual date for an attack of Wednesday… 

MSNBC: Telling them that he is told that Feb 16 will be the day of the attack. 

MSNBC: President Zelensky saying that his government has been told that Feb 16 will be the day of a possible attack. 

CNBC: Today, defiant Ukrainians celebrated a day of unity. There had been reports and intelligence warnings that today Feb 16, might be the day of the invasion. Of course that’s up to Vladimir Putin. Will Ukraine be ready?

Well, if that was up to Vladimir Putin. They didn't get it was a joke. So it put us in a very weird position where suddenly we were being lectured on humor by eastern Europeans. Think about that for a minute. 

Zelensky’s staff issued a statement explaining that actually, he was kidding. So some news outlets had to update the reporting, but they were clearly annoyed with Zelensky. 

"Ukrainian leader makes a confusing joke about Russian invasion," harrumphed New York Magazine. 

But here's the funniest part of all: There was no invasion Feb. 16, 2022 was yesterday. Nothing happened. Vladimir Putin did not invade Ukraine. 

Now, if Joe Biden noticed the lack of an invasion, he didn't acknowledge that. He didn't say a word. Today, he was back on television, assuring us once again, the invasion is coming. 

REPORTER: How high is the threat of a Russian invasion right now? 

JOE BIDEN: It's very high. 


JOE BIDEN: It's very high because they have not moved any of their troops out. They've moved more troops in, number one. Number two, we have reason to believe that they are engaged in a false flag operation to have an excuse to go in. Every indication we have that they're prepared to go is to Ukraine, attack Ukraine. 

REPORTER: Are you going to call Putin? 

JOE BIDEN: I am not calling Putin, I have no plans to call Putin. 

So here's a guy who's literally wearing a mask outside, assuring us that he's sane and on the ball enough to know when Putin is going to invade Ukraine. But of course, he's gotten it wrong. 


What's going on here? Well, the most obvious explanation is the most obvious one. Doddering old Joe Biden, who even before he was senile, was widely considered a moron in Washington, has been played by Vladimir Putin, who may be evil but definitely is not stupid. If Putin bluffed an invasion of Ukraine to make Biden look ridiculous, it worked. 

Maybe there was something else going on. Maybe Putin still plans to invade Ukraine. It's hard to know, but as you just heard, Joe Biden doesn't know because he refuses to talk to the Russians. The Russians are too immoral for Joe Biden. That's saying a lot coming from a former credit card lobbyist who helped run America's most corrupt state. 

But according to Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin is not someone you can ever talk to because he put bounties on the lives of American troops in Afghanistan. How does Joe Biden know that happened? Well, he got it from the very same people who spent all last month telling us that Putin was going to invade Ukraine on February 16. 

Here they are:

JIM SCIUTTO, JUNE 2020: A new report says that Russia offered Afgahn militants bounties to kill U.S. soldiers and the administration’s non-reaction … 

BRIAN STELTER, JUNE 2020: A CNN matching the reporting, cited a source asserting that the cash rewards did lead to coalition casualties. 

BRIANNA KEILAR, JAN 2021: Not so long ago, in a land not so far away, there was a Republican party that would have confronted Russia for putting bounties on the heads of U.S. soldiers. 

JOY REID, JULY 2020: REID: To say nothing of putting bounties on American troops. 

HILLARY CLINTON: It’s unbelievable, Joy I mean, he is still yet to say anything, as the president of the United States, about bounties on American troops.

So the most discredited people in the world, weighing in with total certainty on the most important topics. If you were to sum up the moment we're living in, that's how you describe it. Everything that is told you turned out to be untrue. They were lying. Why were they lying about that? Well, of course, to keep us in Afghanistan forever. 

Why would they want to do that, you ask? We weren't achieving anything. Obviously. The second we left, the Taliban took over and became one of the best-armed militaries in the entire region. So what we were doing wasn't working, but they didn't want us to leave. In fact, they were willing to lie to keep us there. Why? 

Well, we don't have any special intel, but we're thinking maybe the defense industry profligate campaign donors may have had something to do with it. 

Here's Senator Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut explaining that actually, Ukraine needs a lot more lethal weapons from Raytheon: 

BLUMENTHAL: I was so deeply impressed with how resolute and determined people of Ukraine are, they are courageous, they are steadfast and they’re going to fight in the streets, their neighborhoods, the fields, if we give them the arms that they need. And that’s why I’ve also urged the javelin missiles and the stinger missiles in combat, their tanks and their aircraft

So that guy who lied about his own war service is pretty excited at the thought of Ukrainians fighting and dying in the streets. These people are so ghoulish. 


And of course, they're promoting war, not to maintain the democracy that is Ukraine. Ukraine is not a democracy. It has never been a democracy in its history and it's not now. It's a client state of the Biden administration. It's a place in which opposition media and opposition political candidates are completely shut down by the government. Is not a democracy at all. And it's insulting they would suggest otherwise. 

But people like that and many people in Washington are pushing Ukraine toward war. So we're sending them weapons and then making it very easy for them to use them. They told us now for months that any preemptive attack by Ukraine actually isn't real. If you see Ukraine using these weapons, ‘no,’ says Tony Blinken. That's not aggression. It's a false flag attack by Russia. 

ANTONY BLINKEN: Russia plans to manufacture a pretext for its attack. This could be a violent event that Russia will blame on Ukraine, or an outrageous accusation that Russia will level against the Ukrainian government. We don't know exactly the form it will take. It could be a fabricated so-called terrorist bombing inside Russia. The inventive discovery of a mass grave, a staged drone strike against civilians or a fake, even a real attack using chemical weapons. 

So if they're going to use chemical weapons, but it won't actually be them, it'll be those diabolical Russians drunk on aftershave. 

Once again, there's zero evidence that any of this is true. This is clearly some sort of intel operation that's being filtered through the State Department and the media. 

But yet, for months now, they told us Russia is definitely to manufacture a pretext for a Ukraine invasion. So finally, a lone AP reporter bravely asked "How do you know this?" And they immediately accused him of working for Putin. 


He's pretty much the only reporter who asked a question like that, and there's a depressing irony to that. Matt Taibbi put it very nicely this morning in a piece on Substack. "A big reason we're supposed to be an improvement over Putin's Russia," Taibbi wrote, "is that we don't use the news media as an instrument of information warfare. At least Russian reporters don't have much choice in being conscripted for this duty. What's the excuse of Westerners who broadcast CIA gibberish on command?" 

Well, that's a very good question, and the answer is they have no excuse. 

This article is adapted from Tucker Carlson's opening monologue on the February 17, 2022 edition of "Tucker Carlson Tonight."