The next time you find yourself in an argument – remember this

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In my 40-odd years of leading various organizations, I have learned countless lessons on leadership, relationships, money, personal health and many other areas. But without a shadow of a doubt the greatest lesson I have ever learned is this: every hill you face is not worth dying on.

Talk about a lesson so many leaders in America need to hear today.

In our current culture of social outrage, it’s so easy to get swept up into all-or-nothing battles over trivial matters. I have seen leaders let their stubbornness and pride wreck their leadership in the home, at work and in the church. We might not realize it in the moment, but when we make an opinion the litmus test for our relationships, we dramatically curb our leadership potential and influence.

We’re shooting ourselves in the foot. I know it from firsthand experience.

If I had practiced this principle when I first started my career, my influence would be greater and the organizations I have lead would be more effective.

I realize now there are times that I could have carried more people with me along the vision path I set for my ministry if I had been more patient and personal along the way. In the name of “urgency,” we can sometimes push for quick results too much and too often. But hurry is not an asset. It’s a liability. Sometimes, doing the right thing at the wrong time can be as bad as straight up doing the wrong thing.

The sad truth is most of us are more interested in winning the argument than winning the person. As a Christian, I would take it a step further: we are more interested in being right than in being like Christ. This is the point where we must stop and ask ourselves: Is winning an argument worth losing a relationship? Or being right more important than damaging our testimony?

When you make winning arguments your ultimate goal, you will die a thousand deaths on needless hills.

When you constantly have to prove you are right and don’t take the time to work toward making the best decision in the right time and in the right way, you will lose influence and leadership.

So are there any hills that are worth dying on? It might be different for every person, but I know that for me these are three hills I’m willing to die on, no matter what anyone else thinks:

1. Truth

As a pastor, I must be willing to die on the hill of God’s truth found in Scripture. If you’re a pastor, you must stand in your pulpit, in your meetings and everywhere else you go with the confidence that the Bible is God’s truth for today and always. In my ministry, I have seen more people willing to die for their tradition than die for the Truth of God’s Word.

2. Morality

Jesus was very clear that we are to be the salt and light of the world. We must be the moral conscience of our region, nation, and the world. Biblically, we have no alternative. We have to impact our culture. When we do, there are times that our faith will collide with the culture, and that’s when you come to a hill you must be willing to die on.

3. The Gospel

For me, this is a non-negotiable. If you’re a Christian, telling others about Jesus should be above everything else. And if you’re a pastor, there are no excuses you can make to get out of it. There is no one in the church who ought to be more fired up and passionate about sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with as many people as possible than the pastor.

My hope is that the next time you find yourself in an argument or a discussion — which I can promise you will be sooner than later — you will be better prepared to engage with perspective on the long term. Remember, not every hill is worth dying on.