Microaggression madness: Footwear flattery and Santa cause coed kerfuffle

The University of North Carolina has been infected with a micro-aggression pandemic. We are being led to believe the entire campus has been afflicted with this highly-communicable, politically correct malady.

University officials recently released online guidelines to employees on issues ranging from gender-neutral dress codes to casual conversations about ladies shoes – in hopes of staving off the spread of this heinous disease.

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One of the guidelines posted on UNC’s Employee Forum warned against complimenting a woman on her choice of footwear. To do so would be considered to be a micro-aggression meaning “I notice how you look and dress more than I value your intellectual contributions. How you look is really important.”

Campus Reform was the first to expose UNC’s micro-aggression policies – that covered everything from Islam to transgenderism.

For instance, only having “male” and “female” as gender options on forms is considered to be a micro-aggression because it implies “you must fit in the gender binary and select among these predefined categories.”

UNC also frowns on dress codes that require men and women to dress differently – warning that not letting a man wear a sun dress and spanx could be a “violation of anti-discrimination policies.”

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And heaven help the poor soul who incorrectly identifies a transgender person’s gender. Workers are warned to avoid addressing trans people with incorrect gender pronouns, inquiring about their ‘real’ identity, asking them to “explain their gender identity and denying or failing to acknowledge their pronouns, name or identity.”

Oh yeah – you’re also advised against using words like husband and boyfriend.

Celebrating Christmas or taking a Christmas vacation are also considered to be no-no’s.

The university guidelines indicate that to deck the halls “further centers the Christian faith and minimizes non-Christian spiritual rituals and observances.”

UNC posted a message on its website noting that the guidelines do not represent university policy.

“The piece was compiled from research and published scholarly works in response to Forum members’ interest in the topic of micro-aggressions,” they wrote.

Campus Reform also pointed out that UNC has an issue with inviting colleagues to join you for a round of golf.

Such an invitation “assumes employees have the financial resources/exposure to a fairly expensive and inaccessible sport.”

Who knew that Tar Heel folks were so fragile?

I especially take issue with their assumption that it’s politically incorrect to compliment a woman on her shoes.

“The American President,” a 1995 film starring Michael Douglas, addressed the issue of women’s footwear.

Mr. Douglas’ character was about to go on a date – and his young daughter suggested he should break the ice by complimenting her shoes.

“Girls like that,” the young actress replied.

Who are we to question Hollywood?

It sounds like the University of North Carolina has been overrun by a bunch of politically-correct killjoys.

The other night I had a dream about all this nonsense. In my dream I ran across a gender neutral Muslim down at the UNC driving range.

Once he found out I was a gun-toting, Bible-clinging, sweet-tea-drinking, Son of the South -- he came down with one of those micro-aggressions. It was a fierce attack – something awful.

Faster than you could say "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" -- he dropped his Big Bertha and high-tailed it to his designated safe space.

I’ve never saw a fellow run so fast in a pair of stilettos.

Nice shoes, though.