Trump fires back at Biden over vaccine distribution
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President-elect Joe Biden, like most Americans, is probably thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Here are 10 helpful suggestions I would give him if we could have a talk.
1 — Stop — please stop — that little jog you do when approaching a podium.
We get it that you want to appear youthful, but Tom Cruise you’re not. Can you imagine Chinese President Xi Jinping trotting onto a stage, or (God forbid) German Chancellor Angela Merkel? No, it’s time to look presidential, Mr. Biden, not like some over-the-hill college athlete trying to relive his glory days.
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2 — Ditto the aviator glasses; channeling Top Gun is so 1980s.
Those glasses are not only dated, they make you look shifty, which is a distinctly terrible idea. Especially with so many legitimate questions swirling around about your son Hunter, your brother Jim, and what you did or did not know about the family trying to cash in on your White House gig in Ukraine and China when you were vice president.
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The liberal media won’t ask you about those activities, or whether you are, as Tony Bobulinski claimed, the "Big Guy" who was to be cut in on a shady Chinese money-maker. But that doesn’t mean those questions won’t dog your presidency.
Eventually, some ambitious journalist will pursue these allegations. He or she might also follow up on the report from GOP senators that Hunter’s firm Rosemont Seneca Thornton received a $3.5 million wire transfer from Elena Baturina, the wife of the former mayor of Moscow.
Actually, you should resolve to come clean, Joe; get rid of that cloud hovering over your presidency. The shades are secondary.
3 — Speaking of the media, resolve to host a normal press conference sometime soon.
Do this without a teleprompter, without wife Jill at your side, without prearranged questions and rehearsed answers. Relax, let the fur fly.
You can count on a mainly fawning liberal press; if there are a few challenging questions, just call the reporters "dog-faced pony soldiers" and leave them guessing. Works every time.
4 — Stop saying that a 100-day national mask mandate will magically stop the spread of COVID-19.
Some 80% or more of the country already wears masks and the figure is above 90% in high-risk areas. The coronavirus will eventually be tamed, thanks to President Trump’s enormously successful Operation Warp Speed and the resulting vaccines. End of story.
5 — Resolve that you will stop pretending to be the candidate, and now the president-elect, for the "little guy."
You took tens of millions of dollars from Big Business and Big Tech, the ultimate "special interests" you so frequently rail against.
Wall Street, for instance, came out in force to support your election; why would that be? What do they hope for in return?
During your platitude-rich campaign, you mainly focused on defeating the coronavirus. Maybe it’s time to talk about a broader range of issues, like where you stand on financial regulation, reining in Big Tech and trade negotiations with China. The "little guys" want to know.
6 — Please stop referring to Kamala Harris as the "president-elect," as you have done on several occasions.
It’s confusing, and, frankly, your election is plenty bewildering as it is. It is also, for much of the country, downright scary.
Just to be clear, Harris is the California senator who ran with you and is now presumed to be the vice-president elect.
Happy to help.
7 — Please, Joe, resolve to stop reminiscing about the good old days in the Situation Room and suggesting that gathering folks in that storied White House locale will fix all our problems.
I get it that you remember fondly your times in that space, sitting alongside your buddy Barack, as you call the former president, even if most of your suggestions on key events (like the raid that killed Usama bin Laden) were completely ignored. At best, you sound like the old geezer at the bar who’s mired in the past; at worst, you sound like a man bereft of ideas.
8 — Promise to not offer Hillary Clinton a job in your administration.
I know she said she’s "ready to help," but bringing her in would be a horror show and would certainly not unite the country, as you have vowed to do. Hillary desperately wants the limelight, but she is tainted like weeks-old flounder, and husband Bill’s connections to Jeffrey Epstein make her untouchable. Don’t do it Joe.
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9 — Resolve that John Kerry is forbidden under any circumstances to again haul James Taylor out of retirement to croon "You’ve got a friend."
That was then-Secretary of State Kerry’s plan to assuage the enraged French people, when Obama failed to join more than 40 heads of state in a solidarity march following the Charlie Hedbo terrorist attacks.
Kerry said Taylor’s ballad would deliver a "big hug" to the French; instead, it created the most embarrassing musical interlude since President Jimmy Carter’s daughter Amy played the violin for Egyptian President Anwar Sadat at Camp David.
10 — You have often said that you wish to bring the country together.
You might start, Mr. President-elect, by trying to understand why over 74 million people voted for President Trump, and respect the policies of his administration that have been successful, like the brilliant Abraham Accords that are leading to normalized relations between Israel and some of its Arab neighbors.
Follow up and empower the Black community by promoting school choice. Avoid scratching the Democratic itch to raise taxes. Deny the Defund the Police movement. Stifle the urge to regulate us into mediocrity. Study how an expanded state stifles growth in so many countries around the world.
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At the end of the day, all Americans should want this country to be stronger, safer and more successful — for everyone. Achieving that goal is how you can bring the nation together.
Happy New Year, Joe!
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