How much of a typical Everyman am I? Pretty darn typical.
I'm not a Tea Party guy, but I love the idea of a smaller government and lower taxes.
I'm no fan of the Occupy Wall Street gang, but as long as you clean up after yourself and don't block traffic, knock yourself out.
I'm also a sports fan, and while I don't begrudge pro-athletes their massive salaries, I will never EVER shed a tear for them.
Now don't you dare get me wrong, I'm not pulling an Obama and saying that eventually there's a point where you've made enough money. Quite the contrary. If some day a fella signs with the Knicks for $80 million-a-year for infinity, as long as he hits his free throws down the stretch, Mazel Tov, baby!
Allow me to address the NBA Players Association:
Hey, really rich guys! Down here!
Hi. On behalf of the little broke guys who buy your jerseys and save up to go to one game a year, get back to work...I mean PLAY!
I'm a capitalist, and as such I believe you should strive to excellence and make a fabulous living with the gifts you were given. So far, so good.
My bone of contention is this: You should be negotiating while you play -- the operative word being PLAY.
You PLAY for a living! Granted, you put billions into the collective pockets of owners, so you deserve your money, but you make them rich by PLAYING! This is not semantics. Much like my two-year-old, you play with a ball. Yes, you can do magical things with that ball, but there's no other way to say it.
All that being said, you've got some damn nerve. If you think you're going to garner one bit of sympathy from a fan base with 15% real unemployment, you're wrong! In that same vein, if you think your fans will be there after this lock out you're wrong.
Here's the thing, you're not the NFL, and you're not the MLB.
The NFL is the grandaddy of all leagues and can bounce back from anything, as they did this year by ending a lockout and not affecting the regular season.
Baseball is baseball. It's summertime, it's slow, it's full of legends and wonderful nicknames and heroes who served in WWII and married Marilyn Monroe.
You're the NBA. You are flash and cash personified. You are $200 sneakers and $3,000 court side seats. You make as much money as baseball players for playing half the number of games. If you could have your entourages carry you onto the court, you would!
Sorry, but there is just something about how so many of you guys go about your business, that when it comes to appealing to your fans in times of "strife," sorry, but we got nothing for ya.
So look, I know I'm oversimplifying this, but call Commissioner Stern, and tell him you're still NOT happy; that you still need more money. Then tell him that you'd like to come back and play. Tell him this is the owners' ONE chance to negotiate in good faith, and that as long as they do, you'll play.
If the commissioner asks you where this sudden good nature came from, tell him it was the little broke guy wearing your jersey.
T.J. McCormack is a comedian, radio talk show host and commentator. Follow him on Twitter @TJMcCormack.