In the celebrity custody battle du jour actress Halle Berry accuses her baby daddy and ex- boyfriend Gabriel Aubry of using the N-word and not being a fit father. He claims to have tapes and e-mails proving she’s crass and vulgar.

Typical custody battle right? Two selfish parents worrying more about themselves than the well being of their child. In my profession I see it all the time and unfortunately in today's narcissistic culture it’s getting much worse.

The real loser in all of this of course is Nahla the little, soon to be 3-year-old child who is now being used by both Berry and Aubry as a mere pawn in order to inflict pain upon the other.

I remember times with my patients where I would want to shake them and scream, “think about your child, what the heck are you doing?” Of course ,in this case with two celebrities involved that’s virtually impossible. Both sides have their "people" agreeing with their every whim and fancy. It’s not about Nahla, it’s all about Halle…and Gabriel.

The simple fact is that it takes two people to make a baby and when you have a child that person should (in a perfect world) immediately become the most important part of your life. They should always come first and you should never subject them to harm. You should be big enough to deal with your ex in a face-to-face, responsible matter in order to ensure the child is not caught up in the wash of your dirty laundry. Every child needs two parents involved in their upbringing and the fact is this becoming less and less common.

My advice to both parents? Man up, stop your whining and complaining and take care of your kid!

Dr. Dale Archer is a psychiatrist and frequent guest on "FoxNews.com Live." For more, visit his website: Dr.DaleArcher.com.