America’s boys need noble masculinity — not lowered expectations

Throughout the country, states are moving to curb student phone use in schools. From New Jersey’s push for a strict bell-to-bell ban to tighter rules in Indiana and Florida, lawmakers are responding to a growing consensus among parents and educators: constant distraction is harming children – and boys are often taking the hit hardest.

But phones are not the real story, they are just a symptom. Across America, something is wrong with too many of our young men. They are not stupid, and they are not hopeless, but too many are drifting, less resilient, less anchored and less prepared to carry adult responsibility when life stops being more negotiable than previous generations. 

As a university president, I see the consequences up close. Young men arrive with talent and ambition, yet too many struggle with the disciplines that make success possible, such as sustained focus, perseverance, teachability and the maturity to control impulses instead of being controlled by them. 

I have sat across from students who were bright enough to thrive and motivated enough to dream big – yet were repeatedly undone by ordinary responsibilities we all take for granted. They fell behind not because they lacked intelligence, but because they could not sustain attention, accept feedback without taking it as a personal attack or treat deadlines as real until they had already passed. By the time a university sees that pattern, it is not a campus issue alone, but a problem years in the making.

WELCOME TO THE DATING RECESSION: WHY YOUNG AMERICANS ARE GIVING UP ON LOVE

The broader evidence points in the same direction. In October 2024, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that among recent high school graduates aged 16-24, 69.5% of young women were enrolled in college, compared with 55.4% of young men.

Gallup reported in 2025 that 25% of U.S. men aged 15-34 said they felt lonely a lot of the previous day. A Bureau of Labor Statistics analysis found that labor force participation among men aged 20-24 fell from 82.6% in 2000 to 73.1% in 2022, with a further decline to 68.2% projected by 2032. 

Higher education is a powerful avenue for preparation, yet it is one of several honorable paths. Our country depends on builders, tradesmen, entrepreneurs, service members, skilled workers and professionals alike. But every young man does need a path that builds discipline, competence and purpose. When boys become men without durable friendships, meaningful work and mentors who not only inspire them but also know their names, the consequences do not stay private, they surface in families, workplaces and communities that depend on dependable men.

BILL MAHER SYMPATHIZES WITH YOUNG MEN WHO STRUGGLE WITH DATING, BUT TELLS THEM TO GROW UP

We should not be surprised by what we are seeing, because our culture has weakened the conditions that help boys become men. We have mistaken love for the removal of hardship, lowered standards in the name of compassion and avoided hard conversations in the name of sensitivity. Empathy matters, but empathy that never expects growth becomes surrender. Boys often rise or fall to expectations, and when expectations disappear, many do not become stronger, they become fragile. 

We have also outsourced too much of boyhood to screens and then wondered why attention, patience, and self- control have eroded. Used without restraint, a phone becomes a training ground in impulse, distraction and endless stimulation. A boy formed by constant gratification will struggle with the unglamorous habits adulthood requires such as showing up, sticking with difficult tasks, finishing what he starts and doing the right thing when nobody is watching. 

We have also made a serious mistake in the way we talk about masculinity. In condemning what is genuinely destructive in some expressions of manhood, we have too often treated manhood itself as suspect. Boys hear what not to be, but too rarely hear what they should become. That vacuum fills with apathy, anger, or counterfeit bravado that imitates strength while evading responsibility. The answer to toxic masculinity is not hostility toward masculinity. It is noble masculinity, strength under control, courage in service of others, restraint over appetite and honor that does not need applause. 

If we are serious about changing this, we do not need to wait for a perfect federal plan or another national commission. Families, schools, churches, employers and civic leaders can begin now by rebuilding the conditions that form boys into men. That means mentorship must become normal again.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE FOX NEWS OPINION

I have sat across from students who were bright enough to thrive and motivated enough to dream big – yet were repeatedly undone by ordinary responsibilities we all take for granted.

Every school community, church, civic club and neighborhood should be able to say, with integrity, that no boy grows up here alone. Boys need sustained contact with good men who showcase integrity, hard work, restraint and responsibility, and who challenge them, correct them and pull them into real life through service and honest conversation. 

It also means restoring standards that actually mean something, including respect for women and for authority figures. Schools should enforce conduct codes that protect learning and require decency. Coaches should bench talent that will not respect teammates. Employers should reward reliability and correct immaturity. Parents should insist on chores, punctuality and integrity at home and teach boys early on that strength is never an excuse to demean, objectify, intimidate, or manipulate women. 

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FOX NEWS APP

This is urgent, and we should stop pretending otherwise. The window to form boys into men does not stay open forever. Habits are learned early, reinforced often and either strengthened or neglected with every passing year. If we keep debating this as theory while boys continue drifting in real time, we will lose another generation, and the repair will be longer and harder than the prevention. 

America does not need more commentary about young men. It needs adults willing to rebuild the conditions that form them. Families, churches, schools and communities all have a role, and at universities like mine, we are taking up that responsibility by helping shape not only capable graduates, but men of character. Do it now, before drift becomes the default and before another generation is damaged in ways we will spend decades trying to undo. We are not simply trying to move boys into adulthood. We are trying to raise noble men.