Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of being a wife and a mom. I think because I have my Ph.D., people assume I wanted to be a therapist my entire life or that I wanted to own my own practice, or do something big in my career field. But that was never my goal. It has always been that of being a wife and a mom.
When my husband Josh and I were married about five years, we decided to grow our little family. I thought a little baby was growing inside of me. Instead, I learned something else was growing rapidly inside of me. I learned I had breast cancer.
Yes, that is right. CANCER. Stage 3 breast cancer at 24 years old.
From thinking I was pregnant to learning I had breast cancer…can you say whirlwind? Miraculously, I am alive and well today to write this little piece of my heart.
But do you know what I learned through my cancer journey? That as badly as I longed to be a mother, I wasn’t made to be a mom.
That might be confusing to people who know me since I have three beautiful daughters today. You’re probably thinking, “OK, so you weren’t made to be a mom, but you have three kids?”
Yep, that’s right. Keep reading and I’ll explain.
I learned that being a mother is not who I was made to be. That is not who I am. Because you see, being a mother describes me, but that is not me.
And being a mother isn’t about me anyway. This thing called motherhood is not for me to feel fulfilled. Yes, it often does that. But being a mother is not to fulfill me. Yes, it fulfills me in many ways, but that was never its sole purpose.
Oftentimes, when mothers are asked, “Who are you?”, we respond with “a mom” or “a wife” or “a teacher” – whatever “role” we have.
Instead, I want to encourage you to make a list of WHO you are. The only rules I have as you make this little list is that it stems out of WHOSE you are, and not just the “titles” you hold.
Here is a little list of myself I wrote off-the-cuff:
I AM: determined, strong, a child of God, beautiful in God’s eyes, the righteousness of God in Christ, blameless, goal-oriented, an overcomer, a survivor, self-motivated, loving, a wife, faithful friend, a daughter, a niece, hardworking, peacemaker, fun-loving, encouraging, joyful….
As uncomfortable as it makes me to list the good qualities I see in myself (even if I have to write a few of them in faith), it reminds me of who I am and what defines me. Oh, if we could see ourselves the way the Father sees us!
I am so much more than a wife and mom, even though those were and continue to be my greatest dreams.
I am a child of the Most High God. How incredible is that?
Before my calling of being a wife, before my calling of being a mom, before my calling of being a therapist, speaker, writer, etc., I am called to be His. A child of God!
I wasn’t made to be a mom; I was made to be a child.
I am God’s child.
I want to serve, honor, and glorify Jesus all the days of my life. That is where I find my purpose. That is where I find my joy. Serving my kids and loving them is one of those ways I glorify Jesus. And goodness, do I find joy in that!
If you are a mom reading this, I celebrate you! Yes, soon, we are celebrating Mother’s Day, but I pray you realize you are so much more than that.
This Mother’s Day, I hope you get a massage, or flowers, or some downtime, or whatever it is you love, but most of all, I pray you remember your first and highest calling.
Share with your kids what you were made to be.
Rest in that. Choose joy in that.
Nope, I wasn’t made to be a mom. But, thank you Lord for making me one. And I pray we direct our babies’ hearts to His as we find our greatest purpose in Him.