Bride's mother-in-law slams wedding as 'gift grab' after learning couple was already married

One frustrated newlywed recently took to Reddit to poll users about whether or not she was in the wrong for having a “fancy” wedding a year and a half after she legally — and discreetly — wed her husband due to “serious health issues” that required her to join his health insurance.

Writing that the “beautiful” ceremony and reception were “so much fun,” the bride revealed that she was called out by her mother-in-law after the big event — as the groom’s mom didn’t know the couple had legally married months before. The Redditor continued on to claim that her new mother-in-law blasted the elaborate nuptials as a flashy “gift grab” and proceeded to spread the news of their actual marital status to other family members.

In reply, some commenters assured the bride that there was nothing wrong with having the second wedding, especially since the author claimed she never intended to be “deceptive” in keeping the legal marriage private — she just “wasn’t comfortable” discussing her health issues at the time.

One frustrated newlywed recently took to Reddit to poll users regarding whether or not she was in the wrong for having a “fancy” wedding one year and a half after she legally – and discreetly – wed her husband due to “serious health issues” that required her to join his health insurance.

One frustrated newlywed recently took to Reddit to poll users regarding whether or not she was in the wrong for having a “fancy” wedding one year and a half after she legally – and discreetly – wed her husband due to “serious health issues” that required her to join his health insurance. (iStock)

Critics, meanwhile, empathized with the mother-in-law’s woes, arguing that it was perfectly reasonable for her to be upset after the earlier, legal marriage was hidden from her for so long.

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On Sept. 26, Reddit user Brideandgroom19 shared the dramatic tale online, in a post that has since gone viral with over 29,000 upvotes to date.

“About two months ago, my husband and I got ‘married’ in a beautiful ceremony. It was SO MUCH FUN. We went on a honeymoon after. The price tag makes me wheeze, but my parents were insistent on paying for 95 percent of it,” she began. “As a result, the wedding was way more fancy than something my husband or I could afford! My husband and I paid the rest — his family did not contribute (which is fine!)”

The author continued to detail that a year and a half ago, she suffered through “some serious health issues” and didn’t have insurance. The dilemma spurred her and her now-hubby into tying the knot so she could join his health insurance policy, and they were quickly married in a “Justice of the Peace ceremony.”

Months later, Brideandgroom19’s partner surprised her with a formal proposal, prompting them to again say “I do” – this time, in a grand affair before family and friends. At present, the author said her previous health issues have “thankfully” been resolved.

“Very few people knew we got legally married about a year and a half ago. We weren’t trying to be deceptive,” Brideandgroom19 explained. “However, part of it was that I wasn’t comfortable revealing my health issues. My husband respected this. My parents knew about our legal marriage, but his mother did not.”

Writing that the “beautiful” ceremony and reception were “so much fun,” the bride revealed that she was called out by her mother-in-law after the big event – as the groom’s mom didn’t know that the couple had legally married months before.

Writing that the “beautiful” ceremony and reception were “so much fun,” the bride revealed that she was called out by her mother-in-law after the big event – as the groom’s mom didn’t know that the couple had legally married months before. (iStock)

Identifying her mother-in-law as “Carol,” the author said that the woman freaked out two weeks ago when she stumbled upon the marriage license for her son and new daughter-in-law while helping the couple pack for a move – and realized the document was stamped with an earlier date than their big wedding.

“Carol lost it. She insisted we lied to everyone,” the Redditor lamented.

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“She said our wedding ceremony was just a ‘gift grab’” she continued, noting that the couple’s wedding website detailed that their guest’s presence was a “present” enough.

“Carol went and called her twin sister, my husband’s aunt, and the sister called and lashed out at us,” Brideandgroom19 said. “She said we were sneaky and deceptive. She is saying she may want her gift back — something we are fine with giving her.”

Brideandgroom19 concluded with the declaration that her legal wedding was only “a means to an end” regarding her medical issue, and that the fancy wedding date “is what we will celebrate” in the future.

“Carol lost it. She insisted we lied to everyone,” the Redditor lamented.

“Carol lost it. She insisted we lied to everyone,” the Redditor lamented. (iStock)

“Are we [jerks] for not being more upfront? I’ve been really upset and confused and waffle back and forth,” she asked the Reddit community, adding that her husband doesn’t think that they are in the wrong for what happened.

Over 3,300 commenters soon flooded Brideandgroom19’s post. Many users agreed that it was fine for the couple to keep their legal wedding private out of concern for the bride’s health, while others sided with Carol, feeling that the newlyweds' decision to keep the news secret was hurtful.

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“That document was between you and your husband. Carol had no business reading it. And she was vindictive to share it,” one supporter said. “Clearly the early ceremony was just business.”

“Send [the gift] back with an invoice for her portion of the dinner,” another joked.

“Your husband deserves an extra shout out for backing your decision,” one user said. “There's far, far too many feckless spouses out there who will side with ‘mommy and daddy’ over their partner. And those partners deserve better.”

“How is it a cash grab when her family paid for the whole thing [?] Imagine not putting a penny into what sounds like a very expensive wedding then accusing the family that paid of being cash grabbers,” another wondered.

Others, meanwhile, were more judgmental of Brideandgroom19’s point of view, and said they felt for Carol’s anxieties.

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“I suspect she's just hurt she didn't know you'd already been married a year and a half. Her son didn't tell her and I can see why she'd be upset,” one user said.

“I think she overreacted out of hurt. Not saying she is a great person, but to some people, it's not the pomp of the party, but the actual ceremony itself that is special,” another said. “I can see a totally normal person getting hurt that they didn't know (especially if she found out others did).”

“I can see why MIL would be upset to be so out of the loop on this,” one echoed in agreement.

Another commenter gently suggested that the author take the high road and apologize to Carol – even if it hurt.

“You won't wanna be on your MIL's bad side from the proverbial gate,” they warned.