Dear Yvonne, My partner wants to keep the bathroom door open when the other is in there and doesn't understand why it's a problem for me. He says it's a statement of our level of intimacy. Is keeping the door open or closed really a commentary on the intimacy of the relationship? Do you have any advice? -Shawn
Dear Shawn, Keeping the bathroom door closed versus open in coupledom is more of an indicator of people's privacy norms and issues around bathroom habits, for example, taking care of bodily functions. Both are rooted in how they were raised - how their families handled bathroom privacy and self-care in that space.
While some people read the "door open" policy as more intimate, others would say it's an intimacy killer. Every couple needs to negotiate what's right for them and provide rationale for where they stand. I've found, for example, that people from large families who had to share one bathroom do not find it as big a deal to see others doing their thing as those who are not used to such circumstances. (This is not to generalize members of big families, however.)
Dr. Yvonne KristAn Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of
She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."
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