Dear Yvonne, My wife admitted to making out with a girl in high school and she said it turned her on. She also refuses to fondle herself because it makes her feel like a lesbian. Am I married to a lesbian? -Greg
Dear Greg, Unless your wife is in the closet, you are not married to a lesbian. Many males and females experiment with members of the same sex in their youth because of sexual curiosities, opportunities and desires. It's part of their sexual learning experience, and may be part of a questioning period for those sorting through their sexual orientation.
By sorting through the significance of this experience for your wife, you could ask her to share what it was about the experience turned her on. The taboo nature of the make out session may have been more of a turn on than the fact that it was with another female or a particular individual. Likewise, you can reassure her that pleasuring oneself doesn't make you gay or lesbian. If she's willing, explore why she holds this masturbation fear and what kind of messaging about sex from various sources may be holding her back from fully embracing her sexual nature.
Dr. Yvonne KristAn Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of
She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."
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