Sexpert Q & A: Condom Conundrum
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Dear Yvonne,
I have a question regarding an "issue" and I want to know if you can give me some advice. I am having trouble staying fully erect after I put a condom on. What are the reasons this keeps happening? I have tried different types of condoms and it still hasn't worked.
- Jeb
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Dear Jeb,
Many men have found themselves in your shoes. And while condoms can significantly reduce tactile stimulation, they're often not the sole problem at hand. This reaction is usually a symptom of one. An erection can topple for physical reasons, for example, a change in rhythm and stimulation being ceased, to more psychological/emotional ones, like a male's fear, guilt, stress, or anxiety over staying hard. The quality of the relationship and the couple's experience together can also play into a man staying hard since comfortability is key in putting on a good show.
In solving your dilemma, first, raise the requirement for more friction-focused pleasure and make sure that your partner is still touching you and trying to turn you on with touches and kisses as the condom is going on. This could be especially effective as your lover actually puts the condom on you, for example, orally. Furthermore, flesh on flesh makes for a more ready stimulus, so take care to utilize the non-exposed hot zones to heighten your sensual pleasure.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Second, while you've experimented with different types of condoms, try using different sizes. A condom that is too small, for example, can result in blood flow issues and some discomfort, so be sure to use a size appropriate rubber on your member.
Third, practice condom use while masturbating, as this can help you to feel more confident when you're in the actual situation. Lastly, don't be afraid to step away from having sex itself and simply reconnecting with your partner. Taking the focus off of sex can help you to feel more relaxed, taking pressure off of any need to stay up.
Dr. Yvonne KristAn Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."