Wiccans Boiling Mad Over Beer Company's Witch's Brew

The story on the label of this bottle reads, "Whether you're a wonder healer, a caller of spirits or a lover of black magic, they will find you. And on that day, they will boil your blood, singe your skin and make a point to burn your soul to the ground. From that lonely stake, you'll be left to contemplate your life of spell casting, obscure tests and a world operated between shadows of night and day. Convicted of a dark art, the crowd will gather to watch as they raze your earthen existence. An intolerable pain is the cross you'll bear that day as you are removed from this righteous world. No one will summon the courage to save you in fear of their life. It sucks. But such is the life of a witch. In honor of your fleeting existence, we brewed Witch's Wit. A light and refreshing wheat beer, it's exactly the sort of thing you might expect to find being passed around the center of town on witch burning day. Say hello to the Prince of Darkness for us. (LostAbbey.com )

An excerpt from "The Avant Garde's" Story reads, "From the French word "Garde" meaning something worth keeping, this Biere de Garde style Farmhouse Ali is a most delicious companion to a loaf of freshly baked bread from the oven. Grab a seat on the porch, some soft cheese and a tree ripened apple from your grandmother's old orchard. Relax and watch the evening arrive as the afternoon sun is consumed by the illuminating moon over the gardens. We brewed Avant Garde for you, our friends and families. Here's to things worth guarding over." (LostAbbey.com )

Otherwise known as "The Angel's Share," the bottle's story includes, "Way down in Kentucky and across the pond in Scotland, distills age their whiskeys for many years in oak barrels. Over time, some whiskey is lost to evaporation. They refer to this loss of spirits as "The Angel's Share." Each time a barrel is filled, a measure of this liquid seeps into the oak and is lost forever." The beer pays homage to warehouse #5 built in 1886. (LostAbbey.com )

The Company presents the seasonal beer, "The Ten Commandments" as a stronger version of the "Lost and Found" Ale, which according to the website will, "remind a beer drinker who considers themselves a saint that even saints stray as sinners from time to time." (LostAbbey.com )

The Serpent's Stout was made to symbolize, "The history of the bible and religion is indeed the struggle of good vs. evil. Our Serpent's Stout recognizes the evil of the dark side that we all struggle with," according to the website. (LostAbbey.com )

"The Red Barn," Ale's story features a reference to the Huck Finn, "A boy, looking very much like you at 10 years old, settles in along the bank near his favorite fishing hole. Dressed in tattered jeans, a checkered shirt and straw hat, he is instantly your own personal Huck Finn. He baits a hook as a worm squirms away not realizing the fat bestowed upon him this day. You watch Huck settle into the grass knowing there is nothing to do but sit and wait. This simple scene confirms in your mind that this is a brook full of life and you set out on the path revealing its edges." (LostAbbey.com )

The setting of the story behind this beer is at a 200 year old table with Brother Michael searching through a manuscript from Abbey's past, certain that something was lost in translation. When he finds what he is looking for, he takes a sip of his beer. The final note is, "A life worth living is a life full of discovery and we are reminded that everywhere there is opportunity. We brewed Lost and Found Abbey Ale to pay homage to the great monastic breweries of Belgium. Like us, we hope you’ll take the time to discover a beer that breathes aromas of figs, raisins and candied fruits. Join us by raising your glass as we offer a toast then to patience, perseverance and all the things we have lost along the way and were somehow lucky enough to find once again. All it takes is a desire to seek out and find these things, these moments and everything in between." (LostAbbey.com )

The description on the website for "Inferno Ale," includes the words, corruption, greed, lust, gluttony, desire and sloth. The beer is apparently modeled after what the company thinks Satan would serve in hell. "He brews it himself right there in that flame stoked cauldron. Rumor has it the beer is straw yellow, bone dry and simply labeled Inferno." (LostAbbey.com )

The "Gift of the Magi" beer is available during the Christmas Season and is hailed as, "A massive Golden Ale fit for a king (or Queen) we offer the Gift of the Magi each holiday season," writes the company. (LostAbbey.com )

The Carnevale Ale is available during the Lent season in a bottle that features artwork on it representational of the "Carnevale," holiday. The figures on the label are decorated in the traditional masks and elaborate costumes found at Carnevale celebrations. (LostAbbey.com )

The story printed with this bottle outlines what may happen when the world ends and it is time for Judgment Day. The company offers this advice for people to follow, "Live an inspired life. Find opportunities in everything to make a difference. Seek out new and spontaneous adventures and when you find them, embrace them as if they were the passion, persistence, and a motivated way of life. So that when Judgment Day arrives from nowhere, you'll go out knowing full well that you've lived your life on your terms and they can't take that away from you." (LostAbbey.com )