'The Five' on Biden's Putin meeting, new Hunter Biden scandal

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," June 9, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Katie Pavlich, Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's five o'clock in New York City. And this is THE FIVE.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: No other major economy is gaining jobs as quickly as ours. And none of this success is an accident.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO (on camera): President Biden has been boasting about the economy but not all businesses feel the same way, many are struggling to hire employees, and say they can't compete with generous government unemployment benefits. The number of job opening are soaring again, hitting a record 9.3 million in April. Senator Lindsey Graham revealing members of his own family have not gone back to work because they can make more at home.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-SC): I've got a lot of people in my family that is not working because they get, I'll show you some in my family. So bottom line is, there are people out there, they are not bad people but they are not going to work for $15 an hour if they make 23 unemployed. It doesn't make you a bad person. If you're working for $15 an hour that makes you almost a chump.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO (on camera): And Bar Rescue host Jon Taffer telling Greg the Biden administration is to blame for the labor shortage.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JON TAFFER, EXECUTIVE PRODUCER/HOST, BAR RESCUE: It's a two household, a two-person household but they're making $800 each in unemployment benefits, that's about $83,000 a year. The median household income is only $67,000 a year.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Wow.

TAFFER: So, you can stay home and exceed median income.

GUTFELD: Good numbers.

TAFFER: Right now, the government is preventing us --

GUTFELD: Yes.

TAFFER: -- from getting our employees back, Greg. Restaurants are open two days rather than seven days. It's killing us.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO (on camera): And Greg, the -- you know, Lindsey Graham is saying their family can stay home, they are making rational decisions.

GUTFELD: Absolutely. Absolutely.

PERINO: Not being like, necessary lazy.

GUTFELD: Eight-three thousand dollars a year that's nothing to laugh at. I mean, -- that's more than I make in a month. You know what it is? It's a monstrous, it's -- this is a radical departure for a free market economy, it's essentially guaranteed base income, right? But without even comprehending the fallout, the amount of money that you spend.

So what's going to happen is this will drive up unemployment and then the businesses will have to pay more to their workers which the left will say is great except the costs will then be found in the bread into milk and the gasoline and then you couple that with the inflation as the dollar becomes more and more worthless as we print more and more money, you're staring at a pretty scary future for your grandkids if you have them.

This is a battle. This is the Godzilla versus King Kong battle of economic visions. we want, you know, let's say, all of us want the economy to grow but the left wants the government to grow, so it's a war of who can expand the fastest. And because economies expand naturally through human ingenuity, capital and innovation, the government must expand by taking what it's made from the economy, hence the global corporate tax which is evil.

And I don't know if I'm right on this, but the global corporate tax, isn't that something that we fought a war against in the revolutionary war, didn't we fight so that others didn't decide our taxes for us? And isn't that what we are doing right now with the global, meeting with these countries and deciding on a corporate tax for up -- like, isn't this somehow against our values and we should invade countries and kill everybody?

PERINO: I'm right there with you.

GUTFELD: Yes, thank you.

PERINO: I mean, and President Biden is going to be talking at the G7. I mean, the global corporate tax --

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: -- that is terrible and also in order to get some of those people to agree to even consider it they said that they would increase taxes on tech companies. Where the tech companies based?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: In our country so that is wrong indeed. You know, even President Biden, Geraldo, has said that he doesn't take it's necessary to continue enhanced unemployment benefits beyond some good numbers.

GERALDO RIVERA, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT-AT-LARGE: Good. Thank goodness.

PERINO: Because I think they finally realize that this is having an impact.

RIVERA: The last time I did the show, I've been driving, because I hate the airport, I hate getting held up by TSA at the airport so I've been driving back to Cleveland. And the last time we stopped at, my buddy Noel (Ph) was helping me drive, we stopped at a rest stop, six restaurants in the rest stop, five of them are closed. Noel ask the guy in the Chick-a- Fil, the one that's open, where is everybody? They're home collecting unemployment.

When you distort the economy, you are doomed to fail. One of the things I liked about President Trump, you know, I supported him until I didn't support him, and one of the things I felt so bad about when he lost was that the economy was all set up for him to hit a home run by doing nothing. It was all primed and ready to go, esteem and ready to go.

So here comes Joe Biden, gets the luck of that draw and still spends all this money and the first bunch, you know, to help the people who really in distress and hunger and so forth, that's fine. But then to keep it going and $300,000 on top of that is like, how much are you going to get? I'm going to give them -- I'll give them another, I'll give them another, and who's going to work? Who's, you know, who's going to flip the burgers? Who's going to do all these jobs?

PERINO: Yes.

RIVERA: And the good thing is wages are finally going up, $15 an hour, about time, you know, and it's because of demand and that's what should drive the process.

GUTFELD: But you know what else is going to drive? Robots. You're going to see a lot of people losing jobs.

RIVERA: Well, let's see.

PERINO: Yes, the innovation. Well, be fueled by, I think by, you know, you figure out a way how do you get workers. Because it's also, I thought, Jesse, I heard about a restaurant in New York last night, it's a steak restaurant, they had no filet mignon and they said the reason why is because their supplier doesn't have enough workers in order to help them supply. So, it's going to have a ripple effect right to your doorstep?

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Well, that's a female cut of beef. I go with just even the strip steak or, you know, --

GUTFELD: The ribeye.

RIVERA: The ribeye.

WATTERS: -- the porterhouse or a ribeye. Right.

PERINO: Porterhouse.

WATTERS: You know, if she wants to get that, you know, that's tough luck, I'm sorry. You might have to get the chicken instead. I am disappointed in Lindsey Graham. A sitting U.S. Senator should be able to get his family a job. Did Trump drain the swamp that much, at a pharmaceutical company, maybe a defense contractor, can get someone in the Graham family a little no show gig or something? My goodness.

You go to any beach community, Dana, and I know you know this. The small business owners will come up to you and they'll tell you, we can't find workers for the summer.

PERINO: Right.

WATTERS: And its hospitality and its restaurants and I told him the same thing, you're blocking my son. But it's true and Joe Biden he's hurting his own recovery and it's the $300 bonus, you put that out there and it keeps people on the couch. You take it away it forces the loaf off the couch. Does he get the math? He doesn't get the math. No one gets the math in Washington. Fed double the balance sheet. They spend $5 trillion in a year and then they say we are worried about inflation fear. No. Inflation is here.

I went to fill up my gas tank the other day and the guy pumping the gas had a Rolex, Dana, and they are saying, you know, the Colonial Pipeline gas price or it was temporary. No. It surge fast, $3 a gallon nationally, it's going to $3.50, Greg said, you've got a weak dollar that's going to make gas imports more expensive. It's a vicious cycle. People are going to have to carpool especially on Fridays, Sundays on the garden state parkway. It's the only way to do it.

KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Sunday afternoon.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: The only way to do it.

PERINO: Yes. Did you see, Katie, the story about all the incentives that some of these companies --

PAVLICH: Yes.

PERINO: -- are coming up with, for example, waste management. It says when they lose an employee it cost them $12,000 in order to train a new one and get it all set. So, they are providing scholarships, they will help your wife, your children to get a college degree if you sign up with them.

PAVLICH: Yes. The first thing that came to mind when I look at this list is well, that's great if they can offer all of these incentives because people may want something outside of just a paycheck to go back to a job and that's how companies compete with each other. But these are all big corporations Amazon, Walmart, McDonald's, Chipotle, Taco Bell.

PERINO: Yes.

PAVLICH: And so again, after a year of small businesses getting completely screwed, not only are they competing with corporations but the corporations can work around some of the government --

PERINO: Yes.

PAVLICH: -- regulations that they put in, small businesses can't afford to pay for a thousand-dollar bonus or as McDonald's is doing to pay $50 just for someone to come in an interview. And for a small business to lose $12,000 and trying to re-hire somebody, that is a massive cost for them and can put them actually out of business especially after having no revenue for a year.

And so, in terms of, you know, President Joe Biden disabling the economy for them to able to come back, well, this is what the left actually wants. I mean, Joe Biden has been pushed further to the left in terms of government intervention. They are perfectly fine with the government paying people. And then their response is, well, businesses should be paying people more money, this is how we effectively by default raise the minimum wage without having to pass a national minimum wage bill through the U.S. Senate and through the House and on the desk of Joe Biden.

And so that's -- that's what they're trying to do but if you're a small business, none of this is available to you and it's going to be even more difficult for them to survive.

WATTERS: You're saying it's $50 just to walk into a McDonald's and do a job interview?

PAVLICH: I'm pretty sure they're offering money.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Johnny (Ph), where is the news from McDonald's?

PERINO: Totally that -- hey, Jesse, guess what? The Taco Bell is offering general managers through 12 weeks of paid vacation.

WATTERS: Can you take that out front?

RIVERA: Can I just say what we need is child care.

PERINO: Yes.

RIVERA: If you had child care, not $300 supplemental unemployment, give them $300 a babysitting money.

PAVLICH: All right.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: So, give them what you want. Then you want to free the women for the school.

PAVLICH: Just open the schools.

WATTERS: Open the schools.

PAVLICH: Which are already paid.

GUTFELD: That's discriminating against people who don't have kids. What I would like to see corporations like that, the big ones, they should say we will not adopt any woke policies, we will not monitor your language, we will not punish you for political beliefs, we will not force our political beliefs on you, that's an incentive.

PERINO: That's the incentive.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: I like it. But only if people listen to us.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: You pay $83,000 for your sneakers.

PERINO: Coming up, a live look at the border migrants are crossing right now, we're going to take you there.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

RIVERA (on camera): This is a Fox News alert. Griff Jenkins, our correspondent is live at the border where migrants are crossing. Griff, you've been doing some great reporting with some stunning pictures, what can you tell us?

GRIFF JENKINS, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: Hey, Geraldo, it's been stunning here in the last 20 minutes. We've seen more than 60, maybe 70 migrants crossing, every one of them from Venezuela. You can see they range in age. We've seen babies cross and now an elderly woman. Obviously, her family trying to help her and she's getting caught in some of the current waters the border patrol here says they've rescued nearly 1,300 migrants this fiscal year. Y

You can see behind me another group of elderly folks trying to cross as they come and it's a tough, difficult journey. Now we did talk to the smuggler, Geraldo. His name is Juan, the young gentleman in a white shirt, he says he's been doing this every day. I asked him, are you afraid of the border patrol? He said no. I said, what do you say to the administration? President Biden says the border is closed. He said no, no, abierto, that means it's open.

Como estas?

(FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

JENKINS: So, they've been traveling four days, Geraldo, a very difficult journey as we watch this startling image of humanity. They'll been taken, by the way, to the border control, they'll be received here, some given water as they take or taken to the processing center. That's what's happening here, quite an image and certainly one that the locals and officials here hope that the vice president or other numbers of the administration might come and have a firsthand look at it. Geraldo?

RIVERA: Griff, just quickly, it seems to me that unlike the typical flow from Mexico and the Central American countries involved, this is more elderly. I saw you interviewed a woman, 74 years old who had made the track, more families, this Venezuelan group seems demographically a bit different, Griff.

JENKINS: Well, that's right. And that grandmother, 74 years old, Niza Ramos (Ph) from Quito, Venezuela just breaking down in tears because her first son was killed by President Maduro's collective (Ph), the motorcycle gangs that intimidate and ultimately killed, in her words, her son.

But it's just a part of why they're coming. Now in this area I can just quickly let you know that in the last seven days officials say that they've encountered some 5,800 migrants from 29 different countries, not just Venezuela, Geraldo.

RIVERA: Griff, thanks. Vice President Kamala Harris, this is what you would have seen if you had gone to the border.

GUTFELD: Wow.

RIVERA: If you had done the obvious and saw the problem as it's manifesting itself. I mean, it's no accident that you're facing an avalanche of criticism following that first trip you made to Guatemala and then to Mexico, you know? She's declaring victory, Jesse, but it seems kind of hollow when the reality is so jarring compared to what she actually accomplished.

WATTERS: I haven't been covering this as long as you have, Geraldo, but I've never seen people just like in a lazy river in broad daylight just turning themselves into a border patrol. That's never happened before, usually you see footage of border patrol pulling people out of cactuses in the dark of night, you know. I feel bad for the people coming across but this is a distraction. As they go across --

RIVERA: What would you do?

WATTERS: -- they have to have men single file pouring over while border patrol is dealing with these people and those people aren't being apprehended. You make them remain in Mexico like Trump did and then they can apply and come in through an orderly process.

There is no victory for Kamala Harris. The reason she doesn't want to go to the border, Geraldo, is because she doesn't want images that AOC can play against her in a Democrat primary, standing next to a border patrol agent in that green scary uniform saying don't come, and praising them for apprehending and deporting people.

Joe Biden got the stench of the deporter-in-chief Barack Obama on him. And he had a lot of trouble from the left running in that primary in 2020. He had to disavow those tough deportation policies. She doesn't want to do that also, so she's in a conflict between her duty to do what her president assigned her to do and politics, and she looks like a fool as she wrestles with this.

RIVERA: The problem is she is getting it from both sides, Dana. You have a situation with AOC, Jesse alluded, is saying these people are coming to seek asylum. It is the American way. It is inscribed in our laws that someone can come and ask for asylum. What do you -- what do you -- I mean, do you understand, do you sympathize with her dilemma or is that irrelevant, is this reality everything?

PERINO: Well, the thing is because they haven't acted, they are making anyone who actually needs asylum, it's making it so much worse for them. Because at this point now everybody will say that it's clearly not working. You could apply for asylum.

And actually, if you think about the refugees that were approved, they've gone through background checks, they've been approved, they are ready to come that they've already had all the things that they needed to do legally. But the fact that they want to actually try to deal with this, that's actually just compounding the problem and it's going to make it harder.

And I don't care what AOC says because being in leadership means sometimes you have to do things that are unpopular with your base. And the more they cater to the progressive left the more they are going to lose moderate Democrats and the Republicans have a real pickup opportunity there.

The last thing I would say on this is that she now, it's going to be another 10 days or so before she even would possibly go because President Biden is out of the country. She can't take away the thunder and go down. She should have just said on our way home from Mexico City, told the air force 2 pilot, we are landing in Eagle Pass, Texas and I'm going to do this trip and get it over with so that they can move on.

Until then, I guess the problem -- the real problem is not just a communications problem, they have a policy problem. Until they fix the policy problem they are going to -- this is going to continue.

RIVERA: A policy problem, Katie, but also the fact of the matter is Venezuela has gone to hell in a handbasket. This is not going to get better, not only will you have the so-called northern rim countries in Mexico, now you have South America itself, the nation of Venezuela is huge and totally dysfunctional.

PAVLICH: I remember talking to someone on the NSC a couple years ago and questioning them about whether Venezuela would become a problem especially given all of the migration that we've seen in the northern triangle countries and they kind of laughed it off like, Venezuela is too far away for that to happen. Well now we are seeing it happen.

You're right about it being a problem, they just change the policy to allow Venezuelans into the United States to gain asylum. It's a little bit different than the same -- the status that we are seeing for people from Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. So, it's not exactly apples to oranges.

But in terms of policy and how the vice president has not handled this well at all, in terms of the policies here, she can't -- you know, remember when those Republican senators went down on the Rio Grande at night time and they were heckled by cartel members? We have the vice president of the United States going to the border and being heckled by a criminal cartel, you can't have that happening. If they go, then they are admitting that there is a problem.

And finally, you have to remember that Kamala Harris is partially picked as well because she was a far-left candidate, she was the most far left senator in the Senate and Joe Biden needed to get the far-left wing of his party on board. And so, he picked her. But now the reality of this open borders rhetoric that she's been engaged in like AOC for years now is hitting her in the face and the policies of what really actually has to be done don't line up with the far-left agenda.

RIVERA: And yet, Greg, can you, if you are an elected official, sustain a position that turns back that grandma? Are you going to be the politician who says grandma --

GUTFELD: That grandma never would've come if I were president because there be a wall and it would say don't come, grandma. Look, you got to give Joe Biden credit. He is creating jobs for smugglers. And somebody has to tell him that that doesn't factor into our unemployment rates. If she were a white Republican male the media would be treating her like Dan Quayle and that rhymed. So, it makes me feel --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: Who do you mean, the lady from Venezuela was Dan Quayle?

GUTFELD: No, no.

PERINO: Kamala Harris.

RIVERA: I'm sorry.

GUTFELD: Well, she's being -- and this is --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: I couldn't keep u up.

GUTFELD: This is why the White House claims that they're perplexed over her performance. Remember they were perplexed over her terrible performance, it's because they were never allowed to question her competence. Remember, in 2021, you are only allowed to question the competence of white males. Right? Even the competitive -- I mean, even the competent white males can be fired, not so much with kamala.

There's no way that Kamala Harris isn't an amazing overachieving superwoman. So, no wonder the White House is so confused that she's big dud, she supposed to be this incredible, amazing person. It's not happening. You know what she said? She said that this was her take-home message that she learned from being in Guatemala or Venezuela or both of them. She said like the respect and the love that people have for their country. Then why are they coming? That's the message, Kamala.

RIVERA: Because they want to make some money, they want to live a better life. This is a non-solvable problem.

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH: Because they can. Because they can.

RIVERA: An unsolvable problem. Jesse references, you know -- I forgot what you --

WATTERS: Remain in Mexico.

RIVERA: Right.

WATTERS: You forgot already? Why?

RIVERA: I forgot already. It didn't stick. President Biden overseas as you know he just took a big shot at Vladimir Putin.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD (on camera): President Biden facing some big challenges on his first trip overseas, he is set to meet with European allies at the G7 about ways to counter threats from China and Russia. That's the easy part. Biden will then meet face-to-face with Vladimir Putin and he is talking tough.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: I'm heading to the G7, then to the NATO ministerial and then to meet with Mr. Putin to let them know what I want him to know.

We are going to make it clear that the United States is back. I've been clear. The United States will respond in a robust and meaningful way when the Russian government engages in harmful activities.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD (on camera): You know, Katie, this idea that America is back, I don't know if he understands what had been going on when President Trump was president and the foreign policy successes and how our adversaries viewed him.

PAVLICH: Yes.

GUTFELD: I mean, that's pretty clueless.

PAVLICH: Well, I'm sure Vladimir Putin is very worried about his upcoming meeting with President Biden, but I do hope that it is successful and it goes well. But this idea that America is back -- so President Trump was criticized all the time for not talking tough enough on Russia. But behind the scenes, they're doing a bunch of sanctions, they were, you know, taking away their ability to give energy to Western Europe. They actually put teeth into what they were doing.

Joe Biden just allowed Russia to finish the Nord Stream 2 pipeline which gives them control over Europe. And there's been this big question about NATO and the role of NATO for years now, because NATO essentially was formed to combat Russia. But if we're going to allow Russia to control Europe through energy or we're not going to force all these NATO allies to pay their two percent, which, by the way, is a legal agreement that they made to contribute to this alliance that we have, then what really is the point of NATO and it being strong.

And Trump was tough on NATO, but it was tough love. He was saying, look, if you really want to combat Russia and carry out the mission of NATO, then we all got to be in this together and pay our fair share. So, I don't see that coming from Biden right now. But maybe he has a different thing to say out of the end.

GUTFELD: You know, Dana, the fact is as long as Joe doesn't eat a live dog on TV, the press is going to call this a raving success.

PERINO: Oh, and there's no doubt because this is the first.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: So, all of that headlines is going to -- America is back, they're happier, look, everyone's smiling.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Oh, look now -- and you know what the biggest issue for -- especially for the media and a lot -- and a lot of Europeans, it's climate. Remember that pulling out of the Paris Climate Accords, that was the thing that really made everybody mad during the Trump administration.

So, tone and demeanor, of course, will be different, but for getting good media coverage on the first part of this trip will be a layup.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Geraldo, I think it was a myth that -- you know, the media, obviously was a lie, that Trump did get along with these leaders. Whenever Trump showed up in these foreign countries, people were excited, and they knew where he was coming from. They don't know where President Biden is coming from, right? He's got no vision.

RIVERA: Well, it's worse than that, Greg. Remember, Crimea fell to Putin during the Obama administration and the Democrats have been very squishy, it seems to me. Katie is right about NATO, particularly. As a war correspondent over all these decades, one thing that always irked me was how little the presence was of our European allies.

You know, two percent of their gross national product should be spent on their own defense, and yet we're paying for the bases in Germany, we're paying for the basis everywhere. And I don't trust a Democratic regime. I liked seeing Trump and Putin together they seemed -- maybe it's just optics -- they seemed equal to me. They didn't -- like, Trump seemed -- he's the boisterous bullying braggart and so is Putin and, you know, they were evenly matched.

GUTFELD: You know, Jesse, Putin has got to be disappointed because he can't blackmail President Biden because everything is out there with Hunter. It's like -- it's like you can't find any -- there's no P-tape, right, because Hunter has got it.

WATTERS: Yes. We'll be talking -- we'll be talking about the laptop from hell in the next block I think. Here's what I would do if I were President Biden. In the middle of the meeting with Putin, I would have our Defense Department launch a cyberattack against their oil company, in the middle of the meeting. And then, after the meeting was over, I would announce that I was going to double the military aid package to Ukraine. Then, when I'm talking to the E.U. guys, I would say, guys, we are going to boycott the Olympics in China.

That would humiliate the Chinese. It would bring the supply chains out of there, and it would give us the moral high ground. And then I would demand reparations from China if they couldn't prove that it wasn't from the lab. And then, I would say, you guys complaining about all the migrants coming from the Middle East in North Africa. It's not my problem anymore. I'm out of the Middle East. You guys police your own neighborhood.

And then with the tariffs, here's what game I would play there. I'd say to Cocaine Mitch, I'd say Mitch, you want those tariffs drop down from that whiskey and Kentucky. I'll get the Europeans to drop that down if you meet me halfway in infrastructure. I do the same thing with Lindsey Graham. Boeing is in South Carolina. I'd say I dial back this aircraft trade war a little bit if you meet me halfway on infrastructure.

And then with Germany, I'd keep the steel tariffs, because you know what, screw them, they're buying gas from Russia. And then anything else I wanted, Arctic security, I don't know, orange juice tariffs down. I'd use vaccine diplomacy. The one thing I wouldn't do though, I wouldn't make a mistake in front of the queen. That you can't do.

PAVLICH: Jesse, if you're going to be president, how many scoops of ice cream will you have? That's what we all need to do.

GUTFELD: I think you just tried to save the world, Jesse.

PAVLICH: Jesse 2024.

GUTFELD: And then you get up and then you leave a copy of your book How I Save the World in front of each world leader.

WATTERS: Thank you, Greg. You should say that after every commentary.

PERINO: Load that -- load that on an iPod for the Queen.

PAVLICH: (INAUDIBLE)

RIVERA: It was solved like that though. It's really -- it's so impressing.

GUTFELD: There you go. Coming up, new text messages reportedly show Hunter Biden using racial slurs.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PAVLICH: Hunter Biden once again the source of controversy, this time over new text messages obtained by the Daily Mail showing Hunter repeatedly using the N-word while texting with his white lawyer. The messages are from late 2018 and early 2019. And we've reached out to Hunter Biden's attorney for comment but have yet to hear back.

So, Jesse, one of my favorite parts about this, and there are many of them, is that he complained about no one defending him. But everyone has been defending him recently.

WATTERS: Well, well well, I don't know. I was all fired up about this segment and now, you know, you guys using racial slurs like am I going to get giddy about this. It's like very troubling.

PAVLICH: What are you going to say?

WATTERS: I guess the media won't report it and here's really why. Because to acknowledge what's happening on the laptop, acknowledges the other stuff on the laptop, the holding 10 for the big guy, all the shady foreign deals from the Biden crime family. If you say yeah, he said the N-word on the laptop, then the media has to report all the other stuff, and they just installed this guy.

The laptop from hell can bring down this presidency. They can't touch this thing. So, you have the son of a sitting president just casually dropping N bombs, and the U.S. media won't touch it. I mean, they wanted to put Don Jr.'s his head on a stake because he retweeted a meme. And this guy gets away with everything.

PAVLICH: Right. Well, Greg, there's a lot in here that we can only talk about on the "GG SHOW" but Hunter did say, I'm sorry for sexting you, accidentally. That was meant for another friend named Georgia after he realized he was texting the wrong person all these explicit messages.

GUTFELD: You know, the big -- I don't like looking at people's private texts because I always imagined It's me that's -- the text. But the fact is, this is on a laptop that he let out loose into the world. And -- but the point to me is that this is the guy that the media, big tech, and the Democrats colluded to protect.

When you go through all this stuff, you know, this guy is a really slimy dude. But it's like, this is the one guy that they chose out of the whole world to protect because they wanted his dad to win and they hated Trump so much.

I will -- I'll defend him on this point. He could be a hero for all the screw-ups. If the media continues to excuse him for all the bad things he does, every bad guy can now point to that and go, you can't cancel me. Look at this jerk. Look what he did.

PAVLICH: Yes.

WATTERS: Exactly.

GUTFELD: Like, if you're going to come after me, you never said a word about this.

WATTERS: I mean, Chris Harrison has got to be -- like, you got -- you got to be kidding me right now. I'm gone and this guy still wonders in the White House?

GUTFELD: Ellie Kemper -- Ellie Kemper apologize for going to a debutante ball 20 years ago in which it was after that D-whatever it was deracinated. I don't even know what the word is. And this -- and this guy can do this stuff without -- and they just -- you know, right, it's just like, he can do whatever he wants because it makes -- the media steps to the plate and does their job. They have to admit they didn't do their job. They were corrupted. They colluded and they were corrupted.

PAVLICH: Dana, it's like read the point of no return with how bad this is going to get.

PERINO: Well, Greg used to talk about the pig pass.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: So, this is like the presidential pig pass. It's like he gets the pass. But I do think that comparisons to previous administration is fair. Imagine if this had been somebody in the Trump family. There would be nothing else to talk about.

GUTFELD: Oh, my God. It would --

PAVLICH: For years, years and years. Geraldo.

RIVERA: They say that you're only as happy as your unhappiest child. I mean, I feel so sorry for his parents. It is so humiliating, so embarrassing.

WATTERS: Yes.

RIVERA: And as the President of the United States, he wanted that job his whole life, he got that job, and here's his schmucky son, you know, doing these things that are so down and dirty, so distasteful. I really -- I lament for them that this guy has their last name.

GUTFELD: He's still having fun, though, you know.

PAVLICH: He is. He is an artist now. All right, "THE FASTEST" is straight ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Welcome back to "THE FASTEST." First up, they're going to need a bigger boat, or just any boat.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: They're coming in. Hey, it's coming in. Oh, hell, there's three. Look at that one. It's four.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And it's underneath them.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Shut up. Shut up.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: That's three women on a floatie being circled by a group of hammerhead sharks. Luckily, they weren't hungry and everyone was all right. Katie, those ladies don't look like they're ready to do any defense right there.

PAVLICH: They look like-- the sharks look like they want some of that happy hour drinks she's gotten in her hand. I mean, hammerheads are kind of big and scary.

WATTERS: You just probably shoot them with like some sort of --

PAVLICH: I mean, as someone who has swam with sharks many times, they're kind of wimps for being in a boat. They could just get out.

WATTERS: Geraldo, what's the move right there if you're floating around like that?

RIVERA: Well, I want to know what they're drinking. It looks appealing to me. I've been in the water with Hammerheads. They're not as aggressive as other species. But this is a silly encounter here. Who is in charge of the floatie.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: That crew is not the sailors here.

WATTERS: Dana, you see sharks like this all the time of your coastal escape.

PERINO: No, I never go in. I just look.

WATTERS: You never go in?

PERINO: I look. And that floatie does not seem very floaticious to me.

WATTERS: Everyone is making up words today, de-racialization --

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: -- floaticious. Greg, what do you think about this?

GUTFELD: You know, you're wondering why they didn't eat those ladies. And it's like that sharks are probably a lot like me. I hate like liquor- infused foods.

WATTERS: Oh, yes.

GUTFELD: Like, when people give you chocolate --

PERINO: Oh, it's a terrible thing.

GUTFELD: I hate it. And the sharks are like going, oh, let's have lunch, and they go, oh, you bite into that, it's just going to be all booze. The alcohol content is way too strong. And it could be vegetarian, you never know. And maybe they're trying to reduce their carbon footprint.

WATTERS: Yes. All right --

RIVERA: The Hammerhead?

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Style just met comfort. Well, maybe. A luxury fashion brand is teaming up with Crocs for a stiletto version of the popular shoe. No price has been announced but a similar version have cost around $850.00.

PERINO: This is absurd.

WATTERS: Dana, that's about what you pay for a pair.

PERINO: Oh, never, never. I would never do that. Also, I think this is -- I think that sometimes fashion designers just throw out something on a lark to see what sucker is going to buy it.

WATTERS: Katie, would you go for that? You're a stiletto fanatic.

PAVLICH: If I had $850, I would wear them on THE FIVE.

WATTERS: You would?

PAVLICH: So, if they want to send them my way, I'll test them out.

WATTERS: You're catching on, Katie. You've been watching what I do. Greg?

GUTFELD: This is like, using suspenders with sweat pants. It's like, you know, Crocs are for the garden. You know, you don't -- you don't -- I wear crocs when I drive to the liquor store. When we were doing THE FIVE, I was wearing Crocs all the time in that little van.

PERINO: Really.

GUTFELD: Yes, I just go out with shorts and had Crocs on. Crocs are amazing especially when the lawn is soggy. But you know -- you know, it's like -- it's like, I don't know.

PAVLICH: Are we going to get a segment, Greg's gardening tips?

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: What?

WATTERS: Do you wear Crocs on your vessel, Geraldo?

RIVERA: Crocs with stiletto heels make me throw up in my mouth.

PERINO: Oh, wow.

WATTERS: All right, tasty. And finally, the poll reveals some awful houseguests habits including wiping your greasy paws on someone's sofa, putting your feet up on the furniture, and going upstairs without asking. That is really -- I think that would be my number one.

PERINO: Going upstairs?

WATTERS: Yes. What are you doing upstairs?

PERINO: Excuse me. Where do you think you're going?

WATTERS: Yes. I didn't give you a tour.

PERINO: I don't know. I think that Greg's is going to be like when your house guest looks in your medicine cabinet.

GUTFELD: How did you know I was writing that down?

PERINO: I've been tenured.

GUTFELD: Because I'm the guy who does look in the medicine chest. You know who the worst guest is?

WATTERS: I bet you do.

GUTFELD: I don't just look, by the way. I shop.

PAVLICH: The worst guest is any guest for you.

GUTFELD: The worst guest is the one who mistakes a real bed for a portable bed and just starts dismantling it after he leaves.

WATTERS: All right, I thought I was doing the polite thing. You had a very confusing sofa there.

PERINO: It's a sofa bed.

WATTERS: Who bought -- was that from IKEA?

GUTFELD: It was a bed.

PERINO: It's a sofa bed.

WATTERS: Yes, that was like a futon. Geraldo?

RIVERA: We really had a guest just a couple of weeks ago who was wandering around upstairs, and Erica took a nap, very uncharacteristic. She has very high energy. And she heard this rumbling around and Geraldo, Geraldo. Oh, I'm sorry, I got lost. That was a big house but not that big.

PAVLICH: Oh, it's a big house.

WATTERS: It's a pretty big house. You can get lost in that house, Katie.

PAVLICH: Yes, just be courteous and kind.

WATTERS: Be courteous and be kind.

PAVLICH: Just don't -- just treat it like your own house was just maybe is the problem.

WATTERS: Yes, I would have folded up my own sofa bed.

GUTFELD: The worst person is a person that gets super drunk and throws up everywhere.

PAVLICH: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: Right?

PERINO: Yes. Yes.

WATTERS: Who are you alluding to?

GUTFELD: That's the word -- no, no, no, it's just -- it happened to me and I've been guilty of it before.

PERINO: It happened one time to me and Peter and his friend came home really --

GUTFELD: I remember this.

RIVERA: And they threw up?

PERINO: I was furious. Peter didn't throw up, his friend did. His friend lives in the U.K., so he's not watching now. But I will say that I left, I went to the dog park. And I said, when I get back, it better be cleaned up.

WATTERS: Peter, your friend is canceled. "ONE MORE THING" up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: It's time for "ONE MORE THING." You missed a great commercial break. All right, I'm going to go first. So, do you ever think you're going crazy because something keeps moving in your house? You're like, what? I can't figure it out. Check out this very mischievous pup playing a little prank on his owners. Every time he goes outside, he knocks every chair. And then, they would go out and they would put him back, and then they had no idea what was happening. So, they installed cameras to see what was going on and it was their dog. It's very funny.

PAVLICH: It's funny.

PERINO: Little mischievous guy. All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: All right, it's time for this. Jesse's Cooking Corner. So, in my book, How I Save the World, I talk about my first job at a restaurant. It didn't last long, about two weeks, I think. I tried to take a vacation, the boss wouldn't let me. I guess it was a little too early to take a vacation. But it didn't go well, and this is probably why. We've obtained some footage of me in the kitchen. Watch.

See, you know, it's mostly not my fault. It's the cutlery's fault. You call that cutlery, right?

PERINO: That's not cutlery. Cutlery is silverware.

WATTERS: Well, is that a -- is that a frying pan? That's why I got fired. I don't know anything.

GUTFELD: You're much better looking back then.

WATTERS: I've lost some weight.

PERINO: I mean, the hair -- your hair has improved. Greg.

GUTFELD: All right, let's do this. It's Greg's nutrition tips. You know, I like to eat with my friends. But sometimes my friends order stuff that I can't eat. So, it's always good to pick your friends and eat the exact same thing so you don't fall off your diet, like these little people here. They all decided that they would just eat the same thing. You don't want to be a guinea pig with your diet, Dana.

So, they're following their high protein, low carb diet with -- I don't know what they're eating.

WATTERS: What is that?

PERINO: It looks like a spring bean.

RIVERA: That is disgusting.

PERINO: Spring bean, maybe.

GUTFELD: It could be string beans, but it could be some kind of leafy vegetable. Anyway, that would make a great pair of slippers.

WATTERS: Greg.

GUTFELD: What?

PERINO: Well, you would only -- you would only need one guinea pig to make slippers.

WATTERS: Katie has guinea pig slippers.

PERINO: Geraldo, your next.

RIVERA: Sunday will be the 64th annual Puerto Rican Day Parade. This year, sadly, it's virtual because of everything that's been going on with the pandemic and so forth. But it is a great street party. I've been to probably 40 of them. Of all my achievements, my dad was proudest when I was selected the grand marshal of the parade.

Typically a million people watch it. They lined at the Fifth Avenue. There's Cardinal Dolan. It's a -- it's a wonderful, wonderful party. It's one of the first ones with Herman Badillo who was the first Puerto Rican elected to the Congress of the United States. So, this is 1971. But it's a wonderful family party. It's a great time had by all.

In the Heights, Miguel -- Lin Miranda is doing In the Heights, his new movie.

PERINO: Right?

RIVERA: Yes. So, that's going to be part of this celebration, a virtual celebration.

PERINO: Excellent. All right, Katie.

PAVLICH: Awesome. All right, so this is awesome. I Wisconsin father of three made a goal to set a new world record for the most push-ups done in a year. He accomplished it by doing 1,500,231 push-ups in a year. His name is Nate Carroll. And he did it to raise money for the Tunnel to Towers Foundation's Fallen First Responder Program that pays off mortgages for families of law enforcement officers and firefighters who are killed in the line of duty who also have young children.

So, he did this and accomplished it at the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey, broke the world record and a bunch -- in front of a bunch of first responders who cheered him on. So, Nate Carroll, good on you for all those pushups and he's got some guts.

PERINO: Congratulations.

PAVLICH: Congrats.

PERINO: Greg, who's on the "GUTFELD! SHOW?"

GUTFELD: The great. Martha McCollum is on and we got comedian Dave Smith and, of course, Kat and Tyrus. It's going to be a real barn-burner. And I'm not advocating arson.

PERINO: No, never advocate arson. All right, that's it for us. "SPECIAL REPORT" is up next. Hi, Bret.

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