As if the French haven't been through enough, John Kerry showed up a week later and he brought gifts -- if by "gifts" you mean "pain."

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JAMES TAYLOR, SINGER (singing): If you're down and troubled and you need some love and care. And nothing, oh nothing is going right.

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James Taylor? And we hammered Dick Cheney over water boarding? I'd confess to creating Ebola just to make that crap stop.

Well at least Kerry didn't look stupid to standing there.

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TAYLOR (singing): Now ain't it great to know you've got a friend when people can be so cold. They'll hurt you, yes, and desert you. They'll take your soul if you let them.

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I don't know what to say.

That's intimidating. It got crazy afterwards when they made smores.

Now I'd say Kerry made a fool of himself, but that suggest a temporary condition. But what he did do reflects a 1960s ideology that fights force with feelings.

So what does the president think of this response to the Paris attacks? Let's ask the commander in chief.

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VALERIE JARETT, SENIOR ADVISER TO PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: Certainly we would have liked to have participated in the parade. I'd remind you that Attorney General Holder was in Paris for a very important meeting together with his colleagues from around Europe and around the world to take a look at what we can do to make sure we are cooperating fully. And so, I think we certainly got the substance right. But, they would have been -- it would have been great to participate in the parade, and we're delighted that Secretary Kerry is there now.

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Not bad, 44.

But Kerry should have called me first. I have better suggestions than a wimpy warbler. Maybe "These Colors Don't Run" by Iron Maiden, huh? Or side one of Slayer's "Reign in Blood"? That's scary.

Because here is the unintended joke of Taylor's lyrics -- let me quote them. "Just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I'll come running."

No, no, no. That should be, "Just call out my name and you know wherever I am I'll come running -- in a week or so."

So America, once a great country run by great men is now a divided collective run by camp counselors. Worst, it's a camp counselor proud of his famous friends. Instead of a show of force we got show business, because, you know, they're like buds.

But in my opinion, there is only one response to this.

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UNIDENTIFIED MALE (singing): I gave my love a story that had no end. I give --

(GUITAR SLAMMED AGAINST WALL)

JOHN BELUSHI AS "JOHN BLUTARSKY": Sorry.

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