American Idol alum, singer, and real-talk queen Kelly Clarkson recently opened up about how she talked to her hubby about getting a vasectomy after enduring two difficult pregnancies. Clarkson dished on SiriusXM's The Jenny McCarthy Show last fall that she got her tubes tied after her son's birth in April. But in her efforts to make sure she never, ever got pregnant again, her husband also got a vasectomy.
"I was literally pregnant with Remi and I was like 'You are getting fixed. This will never happen to me again," Clarkson said on the show. No. More. Babies.
To get a feel for how other women deal with this issue, we asked 10 ladies what they said to their husbands about getting snipped.
"My husband got a vasectomy when he was in his early forties. We already had three lovely children and our marriage was really stressful. We were just below the middle-class income level, but above the poverty line. Ballet lessons, swim team, and weak attempts to have family vacations were a financial strain. Thinking that college tuition would eventually be added to the mix pushed me over the edge. The way I went about asking my husband was easy: I explained that it was less invasive for a man to get a vasectomy than a woman to get her tubes tied. I also used a little guilt when I reminded him that I went through the pain of natural childbirth three times! He agreed to do it, and it was the best decision we ever made. The sex became more frequent and quite amazing. Getting in the middle of something really hot and not having to stop and fumble through the drawers for a condom or trying a new position without worrying that the condom might break was amazing." —Leslie, 53
"Back when we were dating, my now-husband and I agreed that we wouldn't ever have children. We met on a dating site and both of our profiles said we didn't have any kids and didn't want any kids, so we knew where one another stood before we even went on our first date. It was actually really difficult for me to meet men who knew they didn't want to have children. I didn't love the idea of being on birth control for the rest of my fertile years, so about a week after he proposed, I asked if he would consider getting a vasectomy so that we wouldn't have to worry about wearing condoms or birth control pills. He happily obliged." —Gabby, 33
"After I had twins, we had three kids in diapers. My husband and I were both basketball players in college, so I joked that we were no longer able to play man-on-man defense and we were playing a pretty weak zone defense. My husband took the bait and asked me if I wanted him to get a vasectomy. Before he even finished the sentence I was like 'Yes!' I did ask him how he felt about altering his reproductive system to make sure that he felt comfortable, in the same way I'd want him to respect my body and my choices." —Nikki, 36
"I was a single mom of two young kids when I met the man who became my second husband. I was exhausted from keeping up with them and working. When my second husband and I married, it was under the condition that we would not have any kids together. We re-visited the decision after a few years of marriage and decided to have just one. But I made it clear that I didn't want to take the chance of an additional pregnancy beyond the one. So the vasectomy was sort of a condition for getting pregnant with my third child (his first). I was going through the pregnancy and birth, so it seemed like a fair request for him to have a vasectomy rather than me to have my tubes tied. He agreed. So after the birth of our daughter, he had a vasectomy with very little hoopla. It's so much easier for the guy, and I never understand men who refuse to take this birth control measure." —Melanie, 54
"After our second child was born I basically gave an ultimatum: 'Either you snip it or we stop having sex because I'm done with babies—and female birth control sucks.' The next month it was done. Our sex life has never been better." —Samantha, 29 (
"My only son was born when I was turning 25. During that pregnancy I developed gastroparesis, a condition that prevents my stomach from emptying properly. So my main concern was that another pregnancy would wreck my bodily functions further. Plus, at the time, I was married to an immature man-child so it felt more like I was single with two children. When our son was about 8, I told my then-husband that one of us needed to get fixed, as I didn't want to risk getting pregnant again. I told him that I understood that it was much, much easier for a man to have the procedure. For a woman, the recovery is longer. He half-heartedly agreed with me but never set up an appointment. After about six months, I got tired of waiting, so I made my own appointment to get my tubes tied. I let him know that he needed to take off work that day to drive me to the procedure and back, and to plan on taking care of our son for the next week during the recovery. His response was priceless: 'What? No. Everyone will think I'm a chicken for not doing it if you get it done! Cancel it and I'll go.' And he did." —Vicki, 40
"After having four C-sections in less than four years, the vasectomy was not optional. My doctor said he could easily tie my tubes during the fourth C-section, and I told him I was not spending one extra second on the operating table. My husband was getting a vasectomy. It wasn't really a conversation, more of a statement. I said I paid my dues. He didn't argue!" —Carla, 40
"Even though we have four kids and don't plan on having more, I told my husband having a vasectomy is reversible, just in case we change our minds some day. We got married really young and I got pregnant with my first child when I was 21. We are still 99 percent certain we're done having kids, but knowing a vasectomy was possible to reverse made it feel less permanent, which made it an easier decision." —Allyson, 31
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"Our first child was conceived using fertility treatments. After his birth, we were pretty much convinced we could not get pregnant without a lot of help. I had an IUD put in as a precaution, but I didn't like the way it felt, so, I had it removed. I tried to go back on oral contraceptives, but after a series of terrible migraines, I stopped taking birth control. We used condoms intermittently, but one of the few times we had unprotected sex, we got pregnant. It was the surprise of our lives. After our daughter was born, we learned our lesson about having unprotected sex. I tried an IUD again, hated it, and had it removed. Again, I went back on oral contraceptives and had migraines. My husband could see that I was suffering and suggested he get a vasectomy. I hesitated because I didn't want him to be in any pain or have any regrets about having it done. For a couple of months, we waffled on our decision and used condoms, which both of us didn't enjoy. He went in for a consultation, and it seemed like the right thing to do. He had his procedure on a Friday afternoon and by Sunday he was back to his usual self. He said it was almost painless and it took less than 15 minutes." —Liz, 38
"While it caused me a lot of pain and excessive bleeding, my IUD was the best choice for me in my mid- to late-twenties because I wasn't sure where life would take me. Now, I've been married for five years and my husband and I are both passionate about fostering kids and adopting rather than having children of our own. When a close friend of mine became pregnant despite having an IUD, I brought it up to my husband. We talked about it at length together and decided we were not prepared to have an IUD failure. The female options had more health risks, so a vasectomy was the easy choice for us. " —Maggie, 32
This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com.