GOP tax cuts will strengthen our economy and drive Democrats crazy

The agreement in principle announced Wednesday by House and Senate Republican leaders on a tax cut bill – heralded by President Trump at the White House – is good news for the American people. But it’s certain to upset Democrats, who just can’t ever be happy by anything the president or congressional Republicans do.      

Democrats react to tax cuts like Chicken Little in the children’s story – with screams that The Sky is Falling!

What kind of horrible consequences will the American people – and Democrats in particular – suffer if President Trump signs tax cuts into law?

First, the tax cuts will be good for the stock market. The market is up a record 30 percent since Election Day, benefiting not just the wealthy but small investors and most people with retirement accounts. Yet, wherever you go, you still see Democrats grieving … they can barely read their bulging brokerage account statements through their tears and their anguish at too much winning.

Second, the Trump-GOP tax cut plan that looks like it will become law soon will enable millions of Democrats (as well as everyone else) to keep more of their hard-earned cash and make it possible for more families to leave their kids more of their wealth.

The Trump tax cuts reduce corporate taxes as well as taxes on individuals – an evil plot, right? Unfortunately for the Democrats, the corporate tax cuts will strengthen our economy and prompt businesses to start hiring more employees – regardless of political affiliation – and enable employers to pay higher wages and salaries.

Third, on top of these “calamities,” President Trump has supercharged the economy by getting rid of costly, cumbersome and counterproductive regulations that force companies to waste billions of dollars, raise prices to consumers and ship jobs to foreign countries.

You would think – even hope – that all this might convince some Democrats to vote Republican or even become Republicans.

The arguments that Democratic partisans make against Republican tax cuts make no sense.

First, they say the poor are being robbed to give to the rich. But guess who pays most of the taxes our country takes in now? The top 1 percent of earners currently pay more in taxes than the bottom 90 percent combined. And the top 10 percent of income earners pay over 70 percent of all taxes.

In today’s world, “fairness” is in the eye of whoever shouts the loudest.

Second, the Democrats have now become born-again deficit hawks, painting an additional $1.5 trillion added to the deficit over the next 10 years from this tax plan as causing certain harm. But they fail to take into account economic growth that would be created by tax cuts, which would reduce that deficit by increasing tax revenues.

Can Republicans tweak the tax plan further to satisfy the left and perhaps gain some bipartisan support before Congress votes on the bill next week?

Well, the stock market is up over $5.5 trillion since President Trump’s election. That must grind the Democrats, who look for any cause other than President Trump to make America you-know-what again. And oh, how guilty they must feel over their ill-gotten gains from the Trump stock market rally.

So here’s a “modest proposal” if I may borrow a term from Swift – Jonathan, that is, not Taylor.

If you voted against Donald Trump –  and we can just ask the Russians so we can find out who you are – you will be subject to a one-time tax of 39 percent on the gain of your stocks since last Nov. 9.

Since, as Hillary relentlessly points out, she received 3 million votes more than President Trump did, we’ll take in a UGE amount of taxes on this one-time basis. Half of the gains in the market, or about $2.7 trillion, will have been earned by all those Trump non-voters. And 39 percent of that?  More than $1 trillion. That will allow Congress to lower taxes on everyone else without raising the deficit beyond acceptable levels.

What could a Democrat fail to love about my modest proposal?  First, the higher your income, the more tax you’re going to pay, which is just the sort of approach the Democrats adore.

Next, no more liberal guilt about a sky-high stock market and all the money the fat cats are putting in their pockets.

Moreover, any potential additions to the deficit will take place years from now, if ever. But my one-time “Democrat tax” modest proposal will add Carl Sagan-like billions and billions to the Treasury right now.

If people had to actually sell their shares, that would be a terrible thing for the stock market, of course. So I have a solution for that as well.

With my Democrat tax, you simply hand over your shares to the government. Bernie Sanders fans will love the feel of that. Besides, you won’t have a capital gains issue to worry about, and we all won’t have a deficit to worry about.

And I’m confident that all those Goldman Sachs alums in and around the White House will find a way to sell those shares at just the right time.

What will happen to the stock market, and the economy as a whole, as a result of this 39 percent tax directed at Democrats? Both will just keep growing, because concerns about President Trump’s tax reform adding to the deficit will no longer be a damper on economic growth.

And Democrats will have nothing to complain about – after all, they still get to keep almost two thirds of the “dirty money” they’ve gained under the president they despise.

Bottom line: tax problem solved, Democratic guilt assuaged, deficit vanquished.

Now, about that wall with Mexico…  

David Moore is CEO of Moore Holdings, a private equity firm based in New York City. He is also a professional stand-up comedian, performing regularly at comedy clubs in New York. He is not a registered Republican.