Money can't buy happiness for troubled celebrities

Published Thursday, November 29, 2012 / The Five

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 29, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: It's sad day here on "The Five." You're not going to believe this. We didn't win the lotto. I don't know why. But the upside is we all showed up for work today.

Now, the two winning tickets were sold in Arizona and Missouri. Nobody has claimed the prizes yet but when they do, it could be a cash pay-out of $385 million, before taxes. That's almost $200 million apiece. That's the kind of math I like, the big winnings.

All right. So not so bad. First bit of advice I have for them is sign the ticket. OK? Photograph it. Sign it. Make sure you've got witnesses, because bad things can happen. Right, Dana?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Why? What could happen?

GUILFOYLE: Because someone else could take it and sign it. Like they have the winning ticket and you sign it and put Dana Perino and you have credibility. People think it's yours.

PERINO: It's so devious. Very devious.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: It's a $550 million --

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Somebody has got their phone on here, because I hear it in my ear.

GUILFOYLE: We are going to hand them all off. There must be a mistake --

BECKEL: The other thing that you should do is if you're not married and you win this thing, and you're going to get married, get a pre-nup.

And number two, take it all in a lump sum. Don't do a pay-out because you make a lot more money on it.

GUILFOYLE: And don't get any new girlfriends. Look what happened to that guy Shakespeare. He got the girl that befriended him and then he was found dead in her apartment.

PERINO: If you are in a small town in Arizona, how do you find a really good lawyer --

BECKEL: They'll find you.

PERINO: We don't know who it is.

BECKEL: Well, as soon as they come forward, you're going to have every lawyer in country.

PERINO: But you don't come forward until you have a lawyer.

GUILFOYLE: Lotto chasers, right?

BRIAN KILMEADE, CO-HOST: Right. Here's the deal, I'm pretty convinced after the series of events and the deep research we've done is that we're better off not winning. Happiness cannot be found by being a billionaire. And you lose friends. You lose family. No one is ever happy with you.

The pressure, you all of a sudden have $1 billion. You got to finance and keep working for you. Who needs that headache?

BECKEL: Let me repeat what I said yesterday. I'll take the chance.

KILMEADE: You'll take the chance.

BECKEL: I think I could do it differently.

KILMEADE: But look at the celebrities who also have a million dollars.

BOLLING: Thank you for turning the segment into --

KILMEADE: Look at them. Do they seem happy?

BECKEL: You should thank him, Kim, because he took over your segment right there again.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Let's talk about celebrities because we had a lot to say about the pictures that were spit up there, right?

BECKEL: Here comes E.T. (ph)

BOLLING: Stop.

GUILFOYLE: Bob is sometimes not that nice.

We had Justin Bieber, right, who has a little Ellen DeGeneres hairdo. Miss Lohan. And then we had Halle Berry, who, by the way, never looks bad. She is fabulous.

So, the first problem was Halle Berry had a little domestic situation.

And, Brian, you talked about that yesterday. Sort of out of place but you did it anyway. And you talked about how she has a problem at her house and this was over at Thanksgiving. And her little baby --

KILMEADE: Fighting --

GUILFOYEL: Right, right. The baby's dad, Gabriel Aubrey, who was well-known model, took quite a beating at the hands of her new man Olivier Martinez.

So now they want a restraining order. But if you ask me, it looks like Gabriel Aubrey got the bad end of the stick there. I mean, the guy was severely pummeled in the face like to the point of disfiguring.

KILMEADE: You know the point, you get this. They want to move the France, and the guy goes, I don't want to move to France and I have rights to the kid. So you shouldn't move to France. So, he gets beat up because of it.

It's amazing. You think people with this type of money and this type of fame, with this type of resources, that the average person doesn't, they wouldn't down to OK, let's throw down and fight it out because I want to move to France. They're going to pay $20,000 a week to see his kid on weekends.

BECKEL: You should have seen what Kimberly's boyfriends did to her former husbands. It was really --

GUILFOYLE: Oh my God. You create so many problems in my life, Bob. You have no idea.

BECKEL: I don't know anything about this except that thing about France. That's what I read this morning.

I don't -- I mean, all these celebrities -- who cares? I mean --

GUILFOYLE: Eric cares.

BECKEL: -- I feel bad for the child. I mean, why do we pay so much attention? Put this picture of the E.T. up here. Could we please here?

KILMEADE: Lindsay Lohan?

BECKEL: Yes, Lindsay Lohan. You tell me that doesn't look like E.T.

GUILFOYLE: We're just seeing you, Bob.

BECKEL: No. The one we had before.

GUILFOYLE: Whatever, Bob. The point is she got in trouble last night. She was arrested on another assault charge.

BECKEL: Yes, she is a drunk!

GUILFOYLE: At a club called Avenue.

Eric, do you have something to say about this? It's a sad situation.

BECKEL: He's probably been there.

BOLLING: No, I think what happens, most of these people who gain a lot of money and a lot of celebrity very quickly can't handle it. But then once it starts to go away, they start to lose the public spotlight, the limelight, it turns out they start doing crazy things. I for one think they do it so they can get back in the news cycle.

PERINO: Right.

BOLLING: So they can get back on the cover of "Enquirer", so "The Five" can talk about Lindsay Lohan again doing something stupid or Justin Bieber driving his car too fast or whatever.

BECKEL: Listen, she is a definite alcoholic.

GUILFOYLE: She is also somebody who is a target. People know she's got priors.

It's an easy way to get some cash from a celebrity, too, that you know is troubled. Half the battle is done because you sit there and get an altercation. You say some things to her. She's mad. She's frustrated. She's 26 with issues. Smacks to the face and cops are called and it's all over the press internationally. That is in fact what happened.

BECKEL: Bieber was having a fight with his mother because she was jumping on him for drinking, right?

GUILFOYLE: Right.

KILMEADE: Mom has -- you know, it runs in the family. Mom had a drinking problem. She tried to commit suicide. She sees her son doing the same thing as she was, only he happens to be a multimillionaire. One of the most famous pop artists.

BECKEL: You know, the number of people who are celebrities who have family history of alcoholism is unbelievably high.

KILMEADE: Why is that?

BECKEL: One reason is they are extraverted and they become good actors, because when you're a kid, if your old man is drunk all the time, you learn how to cut deals, you learn how to act your way around, lie if you have to, whatever it takes, just to get yourself through a day. And so, those kinds of skills that you adapt. Two things. You become politician or an actor. Two things you can do from that.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: Go ahead, Dana. What?

PERINO: No, I just think what Bob just said was really interesting. That makes a lot of sense.

GUILFOYLE: Bob has really been kind of on it tonight.

PERINO: On it.

KILMEADE: He loves celebrity news.

GUILFOYLE: He does. He's actually our Us Weekly guru.

Now, Eric, last night, we also saw that it was insane outside here, even after we left work, it was packed with the Bieberites because Justin Bieber was there for Christmas tree lighting.

BOLLING: He was there?

GUILFOYLE: Yes. Cee Lo Green, you can actually hear him singing. Mariah Carey was there.

BECKEL: I thought they were here for us.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, they're big fans of "The Five."

All right. That's all --

PERINO: I like Cee Lo Green.

BECKEL: Who is Bee Lo Green?

GUILFOYLE: Cee Loo Green.

BECKEL: I don't know who that is.

GUILFOYLE: We don't have time to get it all together for Bob.

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