Guys do a lot of crazy things to woo women – from sending inappropriate pictures over their phones to skywriting their loves name in the sky to standing outside a woman's bedroom window with boombox playing a Peter Gabriel song (We're talking about you, John Cusack).
But of all the crazy things that have been done to win a woman's heart, "federal agent" Joseph Figueroa may just be the craziest.
The New York City resident was so taken with a local beauty salon owner that he donned his firearm, badge and uniform in an attempt to impress her with his law enforcement bona fides. The only problem: the "federal task force agent for abused females and kids" was a hoax.
Figueroa, who lives with his mother in a housing project in northern Manhattan, actually works behind the cash register at a local deli.
"This guy has been impersonating police" to meet women, a source told the New York Post, adding that Figueroa has his car decked out to match his counterfeit cop persona.
"Full [law enforcement] light package in his car. Lights, sirens. Fake parking plaques. The whole nine," the source said. "But he's really just a bodega worker."
Figueroa began showing his love interest photos of himself in uniform that he posted on Facebook. One shows him in a navy shirt with "FDA AGENT J. FIGUEROA" embroidered in gold and with a badge over his heart reading "Fugitive Recovery Agent."
Besides not seeming to understand that FDA is an acronym for the Food and Drug Administration, Figueroa also told the salon owner that he was a Navy Seal…and a U.S. Marine.
While the salon owner was wary of him at first, she eventually agreed to meet him, but quickly realized something was not what it seemed.
"Every time he meets with her, he is in full uniform with a gun," the source said. "She [started] to realize that he might not be legit."
When the salon owner, however, tried to cut ties with Figueroa, things began to get weird. Figeroa began stalking her and showing up at her home and work.
"At one point, he pulls up to her job and, in front of everyone, pulls his gun out and points it at her while in this fake uniform — which is why he was collared," the source said.
Figueroa was eventually arrested earlier this week on charges of harassment, forgery and unlawful surveillance. He was released on $1,500 cash bail that was posted by his mother.
The fake lawman's rap sheet includes charges for assault, robbery, burglary, burglary with a firearm and weapons possession.
When informed of his arrest, Figueroa's neighbors appeared shocked by his behavior.
"If I knew he was doing something like that, I would have slapped him on both sides of the face," Felix Velez said.